Forums · ...damn • Page 5
| QUOTE (bobblyhead @ Oct 28 2007, 06:08 AM) |
| Yes, but my friends are always bugging me about something else. Remember Y? My best friend likes her, and I like X, so all my friends are saying to go on a double date should the situation present itself. Ideas on that? |
well there are pros and cons on double dating: one is that every time theres an awkward silence it doesnt fall on you to fill it up. There will always be a conversation. On the other hand, it might not be what you want to talk about, you get little to no privacy and you have no control over what your frriends do or do not do
| QUOTE (Zev @ Oct 28 2007, 12:04 AM) | ||
I would think so to an extent...but that's just wrong. If bobblyhead likes the girl, then he would never think of going about it that way. Besides, one night stands are stupid compared to a relationship if he chose to go that way. Anyway, a piece of advice we can all agree on; never take advantage of the situation to get some. In the real world, no one ever says, "oh hey, you know I really like you?" However, if the opportunity presents itself, bobblyhead should take it to find out how she feels about him because she already knows he likes her. It is unfair to him. At least, that's how I see it. Let's shift this topic back to advice and not just advice on when there's drinking involved. EDIT: MillionDaggers touched on an important point. If you get a chance to hang out with her. Make sure she doesn't bring any friends. That's the best way to get to know her. Don't get her SN, get her number! |
I'm not so much concerned on the drinking's consequences as I am for taking advantage of a person. If you have an ethical opportunity, by all means, go for it. If it involves some coercion of any type, that's unacceptable, and I'd hope you wouldn't pursue that option.
Anyway...
Try going for an SN first and then reaching through a phone if you feel she's comfortable enough with it. Most girls will vouch that being asked for a phone number too quickly will result in an awkward discomfort - she may even give you the wrong phone number just to keep you away.
| QUOTE (Esotu @ Oct 28 2007, 06:14 AM) | ||||
I'm not so much concerned on the drinking's consequences as I am for taking advantage of a person. If you have an ethical opportunity, by all means, go for it. If it involves some coercion of any type, that's unacceptable, and I'd hope you wouldn't pursue that option. Anyway... Try going for an SN first and then reaching through a phone if you feel she's comfortable enough with it. Most girls will vouch that being asked for a phone number too quickly will result in an awkward discomfort - she may even give you the wrong phone number just to keep you away. |
ouch
| QUOTE (bobblyhead @ Oct 28 2007, 06:15 AM) |
| I'll agree with you on that one, because you have to *warm* up to them first. However, she'll probably suggest something fishy if I try to approach her, seeing how she already knows. Which leads me back to the beginning, urgh. |
Well, I didn't say no to the SN. I'm just saying you have a significantly lower chance of hooking up by getting the SN before the number. By all means go for it, but if she knows you like her already, she'll give you the number. That way you can know for sure she's into you as well. If she gives you the wrong number, you should take the hint.
On another note, you're thinking about a double date without her?! Are you mad!! You don't let your friend date her while you date "y". That's just stupid. She knows you like her and you know you like her (redundant, I know), then you should ask her instead. Don't be a wuss.
I know one of the primary advice I gave so far was that you talk to her. Well sometimes, talking to someone you like can be intimidating. If you need help with that, well I can offer some advice, if not, then good luck whenever you see her.
Today, I was at this cafe waiting on my order. I saw this one girl from my dance practice walk in. She got her order and left to go sit with her friends. At first when she came in, I was about to shout her name, but then I conveniently forgot it at that moment (I actually remembered, but it was the same name as someone else I knew, so I wasn't 100% sure). So she left, I got my order and went outside to eat dinner. After I finished, I turned around and saw her go back in for another order. Knowing I didn't seek a relationship with her although she's single and hawt, I figured it wouldn't hurt me to say hi. I decided go up to her in the store. Her back was turned, so I tapped her shoulder and she responded with cheerfulness and a hug. After a short talk about what we were doing there, we bid each other farewell until dance practice. I went back home feeling better about myself and I got a hug out of it. So the point is don't be a chicken even when it comes to saying hi.
Today, I was at this cafe waiting on my order. I saw this one girl from my dance practice walk in. She got her order and left to go sit with her friends. At first when she came in, I was about to shout her name, but then I conveniently forgot it at that moment (I actually remembered, but it was the same name as someone else I knew, so I wasn't 100% sure). So she left, I got my order and went outside to eat dinner. After I finished, I turned around and saw her go back in for another order. Knowing I didn't seek a relationship with her although she's single and hawt, I figured it wouldn't hurt me to say hi. I decided go up to her in the store. Her back was turned, so I tapped her shoulder and she responded with cheerfulness and a hug. After a short talk about what we were doing there, we bid each other farewell until dance practice. I went back home feeling better about myself and I got a hug out of it. So the point is don't be a chicken even when it comes to saying hi.
| QUOTE (bobblyhead @ Oct 29 2007, 04:05 AM) |
| Mmkay. Thanks for the words of courage, I'll do my best tommorow. |
I feel like you're going to come short if I don't say some more.
If you see her in the hall with her friends, just walk up to her and say what's up (not those words exactly
). If her friends know you like her, they'll do two things.1. They'll stick around.
2. They'll leave.
Yeah not much of a variation. Anyway, if they stick around it's a hint that you're down in the game with her. Ignore it and try to focus only on her. Like Esotu said, don't be too forceful, but don't get pushed out by her friends' conversation.
If they leave, then that means you at least have their approval of dating her meaning her friends don't think you're a creep. That or she might actually be interested in you. That's a good thing. Just ask her stuff like where's her next class or what's she's doing. Don't stick to just talking about school though or else she'll think you're a nerd or something. Try to branch off into something she likes to talk about. Trust me, you'll find something. For example:
You: Study for that test today?
She: No, I was busy yesterday.
You: Oh yeah, with what?
She: I was walking my dog.
You: What dog do you have?
and so forth, just remember Esotu's advice about wordiness. Watch what you say and don't lie. >.<
| QUOTE (MillionDaggers @ Oct 29 2007, 07:23 AM) |
| music and movies work wonders in my opinion |
I don't use movies or music. Movies are pretty bland and they don't give much to build on. Music is such an open topic, it's hard to find similar tastes there. That's just me though
The girl I'm working on right now is into anime. On my laptop, she saw I had a picture of Shana (from Shakugan no Shana) eating some melon bread and we started talking from there. Point is, having similar interests is a good way to build a foundation of a relationship.
Mmkay, didn't see her today (absent I guess?), so I'll try tommorow. The problem is I hardly see her, and when I do, she is often surrounded by a wall of friends, and other people that make jokes and tell them to her. I don't know when I'll just see her, and none of those pesky friends (they love toying around with me because I'm kind of short).
| QUOTE (bobblyhead @ Oct 29 2007, 11:00 PM) |
| Mmkay, didn't see her today (absent I guess?), so I'll try tommorow. The problem is I hardly see her, and when I do, she is often surrounded by a wall of friends, and other people that make jokes and tell them to her. I don't know when I'll just see her, and none of those pesky friends (they love toying around with me because I'm kind of short). |
Make it a habit of seeing her often. Girls like it when you try to see them. If you see her surrounded, go up to her and make your way in. Act as if you're tight (not too tight though, but enough where it seems like you're friends or at least acquaintances). People who joke with her are only friends. It's ok to be funny, but don't push it because she wants you to be serious. I get picked a lot because I'm short too, but don't worry about it man. Make fun of yourself and it gets old fast.
On to what we were talking about, you have something to talk about now. If you see her tomorrow, you can use the absence as a source of conversation. When you see her and you better do so tomorrow (because it gets harder and harder to talk to a girl or even make something work if you don't do anything as time passes by), you should mention something that happened in school today and ask her if she heard or saw it. That should get her to say she wasn't at school or something. Then you can build on that and ask what she did instead or something. Don't give up hope. It's never over if you keep trying.
actually that's true, the everyday things that happen, no matter how tedious they may seem can be excellent conversation starters. And music and movies are only there for you to see what she likes and does not like. Usually you can tell who a person is through their taste in either, it also helps if you have a definite knowledge about what it is you're talking about.
and btw, what's the legal age limit for alcohol in the States? 21, right? Down under, it's 18.
and btw, what's the legal age limit for alcohol in the States? 21, right? Down under, it's 18.
She was here today. So, I'm eating my lunch, and she's eating hers. IIRC some guy was reminding that I like her, and she looked up while I was going to trash my food, and quickly turned around and went, "Ew!".
Eh, I guess this topic is over. She doesn't like me, at all. She probably is going to try and evade me, so no use trying to attract her.
Eh, I guess this topic is over. She doesn't like me, at all. She probably is going to try and evade me, so no use trying to attract her.
| QUOTE (bobblyhead @ Oct 30 2007, 09:23 PM) |
| She was here today. So, I'm eating my lunch, and she's eating hers. IIRC some guy was reminding that I like her, and she looked up while I was going to trash my food, and quickly turned around and went, "Ew!". Eh, I guess this topic is over. She doesn't like me, at all. She probably is going to try and evade me, so no use trying to attract her. |
First of all, that sucks. I know how that feels. It happened to me before and it happened plenty of times in my daydreams when I think about possible outcomes of conversations with girls. Anyway, I have a few things to say.
2. Don't give up. I told you that several times. Girl's like to play hard like I said. They also like to act cute by being immature (at least the cute ones). When that guy told her and she went "eww", you should've went up and said something. Depending on how bold you are, you could've gone several ways. I would've said, "do you want to go out with me?" Because it's already over. You can't work it through without difficulties. You might as well go and say it. From her response, you can make something work or go on living alone. On the other hand, someone shy like you could say, "Hi, I'm <your name> and I would like to get to know you." That's probably the better option since the fall is shorter, but the rewards are shorter as well because you might end up with a shaky friendship.
3. You don't know if she likes you or not and you should find out because you'll never be content until you find out.
4. It is only over when you want it over. If this is how you want it to end, then so be it. I know how it feels and I know how it feels to have a "friend" that knows I like her.
Those things I said seem the same, but they're different slightly. I'm sorry to hear your (first?) crush ended up in misery. It happened to me too. The first girl I had a crush on ignores and avoids me at all cost. We never speak. The second girl I had a crush on actually liked me. She made the first move, but I couldn't follow up. I acted immaturely and she saw that and dated someone else. From the history I know of her, she's the kind of girl that knows how to move around if you know what I mean and she was probably looking for a nerdy guy like me. I failed that and we now have a bad friendship as I stated earlier...For the third girl I had a crush, I actually got to first base. I could've went farther, but something about her disturbed me, so I dropped it before we could go farther. Right now I'm playing the field, but I'm working on this one girl. Actually, I have girl problems right now...it's not the same as yours. I might make a thread about it if I want opinions.
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