Forums · Pokemon Interviews
Well, after losing 16 karma from Gamefaqs, I decided that I couldn't handle the ban-happy mods anymore. I lost 6 karma for not bleeping out some words enough, and 10 for calling the mods 10 year olds with a nuclear warhead in one hand and a box of juicy juice in the other
Bulbasaur: People love me because I'm ka-wa-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Ivysaur: No one liked me since I wasn't as cute as Bulbasaur, but I wasn't tough like Venusaur
Venusaur: Remember me in TCG? I totally dominated!
Charmander: Char char! You all cried when I was introduced in the anime! Admit it!
Charmeleon: I portray myself as a bully to help me cope with my fear of water
Charizard: I bet you all have a holographic card of me somewhere in your house...
Squirtle: Stereotypical Japanese Squirtle Squad Gang go!
Wartortle: I'm what Squirtle would like if it did Meth
Blastoise: Who's "Genius" idea was it to give me a GUN? Two at that!
Caterpie: I exist to scare Misty
Metapod: Meta Meta... I created the Metagame...
Butterfree: I waited for you Ash...
Weedle: The lesser of two Weedles
Kakuna: Anybody remember the legendary Kakuna thread?
Beedrill: Why am I always portrayed as the bad guy?
Pidgey: I was the first pokemon you ever caught. REMINISCE!
Pidgeotto: All of you used me in RBY, then gave me fly, and then made me an HM slave...
Pidgeot: Do I have better stats yet? At least I can out speed Lucario :/
Rattata: FEAR me...
Raticate: Hyper Fang was pretty scary back then, right?... Good times...
Spearow: I'm the "cooler" version of Pidgey
Fearow: I used to be so badass... Now look at me... People only use me to get a Skarmory...
Ekans: My name is Snake backwards! THAT'S CRAZY!
Arbok: My name is Kobra backwards!... Wait...
Pikachu: Light Ball? THAT'S Gamefreak's master plan to make me usable?
Raichu: I'm still faster than you Pikachu... and speed is all that matters...
Sandshrew: Gamefreak sure loves mouses for some reason
Sandslash: Lavos appeared!!!
Nidoran F: You caught me, thinking I was Nidoran M... SEXISTS!
Nidorina: Just another branch pokemon...
Nidoqueen: Damn male tyranny...
Nidoran M: What am I, a mouse from hell? Why am I spiked?
Nidorino: I'm a hamster with rabies! I'M GONNA GET YA!
Nidoking: I'm the King!... of Pokemon who look uber-strong, but are actually horrendously weak...
Clefairy: Watch my fingers... Watch them.. CLEFAIRY! (Uses Draco Meteor)
Clefable: Clefairy doesn't have an evolution. I'm just an overweight Clefairy. Really.
Vulpix: I'm a foxy girl nya~
Ninetales: WILL ALL OF YOU KITSUNE MANIAC FREAKS GET AWAY FROM ME ALREADY!?
Jigglypuff: Psst... I can take down Fox any day...
Wigglytuff: STARE INTO MY EYES
Zubat: (no commentary. Zubat is currently with his 100 siblings bothering some trainer in some cave)
Golbat: FEEEEEEEEEED MEEEEEEEE
Oddish: I'm so adorable! Hug me~
Gloom: I can't seem to open my eyes...
Vileplume: I'm just a wannabe Chansey...
Paras: Please oh please don't hurt me Mr. Charizard...
Parasect: I can outclass that Breloom anyday... I'm the real Spore user!
Venonat: Remember when I was the "Ninja" Pokemon?... What am I anyway?
Venomoth: I'M A GIANT MOTH! WHY WOULD ANYBODY WANT TO USE ME?
Diglet: Diglett Dig Diglett Dig
Dugtrio: TRIO TRIO TRIO
Meowth: Meowwwwth, That's Right!
Persian: Persian used Slash! It's a Critical hit! Golem fainted! (Wait, what!?)
Psyduck: Psy... duck?
Golduck: I always thought I was inspired by Daffy Duck for some reason.
Mankey: I NEED MORE POOOO
Primeape: PUNCH-A PUNCH-A PUNCH-A I TOOK YOUR HAT ASH!
Growlithe: James, why didn't you take me along?
Arcanine: I have 550 BST! Why am I not used more often!?
Poliwag: OMG!! WHERE ARE MY HANDS!
Poliwhirl: Oh, there they are. Notice how my swirl changed... Eh? Eh? Pretty cool?
Poliwrath: If I hear one more "Battletoads" joke...
Abra: Am I a bug... or a fox?... or a bugfox?...
Kadabra: I look like I belong in DBZ or something. Kamehameha!
Alakazam: Second to only Mewtwo. Heh heh heh...
Machop: Remember that kid in Elementary school that had no neck?
Machoke: I don't take steroids...
Machamp: Lets see... Side effects include constipation, stomach aches, drowsiness and MULTIPLE LIMB GROWTH!?
Bellsprout: I was the first sexual inuendo!
Weepinbell: I float, but I don't have levitate. Strange
Victreebell: VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!! (eats James' head)
Tentacool: I'm the reason all of you hate using Surf.
Tentacruel: Just think of it. If Suicune's ever banned, you'll be seeing a lot more of ME
Geodude: How do I move around? I forgot
Graveler: Gonna rape ya... GONNA RAPE YA...
Golem: Who's great idea was it to make me x4 weak against grass and water?
Ponyta: My little pony... da de da...
Rapidash: I'm the only useful fire Pokemon in Sinnoh besides Infernape...
Slowpoke: Slow.............
Slowbro: Slow....... Bro?
Magnemite: Great, now I have a x4 weakness to ground... gotta use Magnet Rise now.
Magneton: Am I one Pokemon, or three Pokemon? DECIDE
Farfetch'd: Am I useful yet? Cubone gets x2 attack power... I get a bonus to crit... wowie...
Doduo: I sure look tasty
Dodrio: Dodrio used Endure! Dodrio used Flail!... That's all I'm good for really.
Seel: I want to KILL whoever gave me this name
Dewgong: The original Dragon Slayer! Dewgong gong gong :-3
Grimer: Shake my hand! oops, it fell off...
Muk: I'm the result of industries mass producing pokeballs.
Shellder: Did you know I don't learn the move "lick"?
Cloyster: 180 Defense! 50 HP! 45 Sp. Def!
Gastly: Something's strange... In the neighborhood...
Haunter: Who ya gonna call... GHOST BUSTERS!
Gengar: I'm a fat ghost weighing at 89.3 pounds. How do I do it? read my book!
Onix: I'm gonna get you one day for what you did to me Pikachu...
Drowzee: I look like some miserable child's nightmare. Why would Gamefreak bring me into existence?
Hypno: Did Gamefreak really think I could compete with Alakazam back in the days of RBY?
Krabby: (foams at the mouth)
Kingler: (Unfortunately, all the Kinglers we encountered were dead. They all appeared to have been killed by someone hitting their weak point for massive damage)
Voltorb: I have Vegeta eyes for some reason. Why are we so uncool?
Electrode: People... Please stop giving me explosion. 50 Attack power isn't going to get you very far...
Exeggcute: How cute. a Pokemon made to resemble a fetus
Exeggutor: If our heads are fruit, can other Pokemon eat us?
Cubone: Will you be my mommy? I already ate my other one :(
Marowak: This is why you don't play with super glue (points to skull)
Hitmonlee: Do I have arms sticking out of my face, or do I have a face on my body? YOU DECIDE!
Hitmonchan: I don't remember Jackie Chan ever using boxing gloves before
Lickitung: My tongue makes Yoshi look like a no-show!
Koffing: http://www.chaobell.net/gallery/d/1995-1/1175311620944.png
Weezing: Don't smoke kids, or you'll look like me one day COUGH
Rhyhorn: At least I out speed Shuckle
Rhydon: "Aim for the horn" bleah bleah bleah. Leave me alone...
Chansey: ahh, I am such a failure of a pokemon with my 250 HP and my 105 special defense. If only I had an evolution...
Tangela: Behold! The only RBY grass type that isn't weak to psychic Pokemon for some unexplainable reason!
Kangaskhan: I'm born with my baby already born, but it never grows up and nor can it breed... Is it even a Pokemon? It could be a parasite for all I know...
Horsea: I'm sooo much cuter than Squirtle!
Seadra: why didn't they just make me a dragon type back in RBY?
Goldeen: I'll appear in SSBB as well. Just wait and watch!
Seaking: **** YEAH SEAKING!!!
Staryu: (makes strange echo noises)
Starmie: I wish I had a face... and a soul...
Mr. Mime: Well, we're all "Misters", but we get our romantic enjoyment through "other" means. These aren't gloves you know.
Scyther: Baby Tier status? heh heh heh, I've been expecting you Caterpie...
Jynx: I used to be Black, but Gamefreak turned racist on me!
Electabuzz: Oh yes, pip pip, I am quite formal indeed. However, a strange impulse comes over me when I see the color red. Is that Ketchup? BLAHLABLAHALBBALHALBLAHLABALHALHABLAH
Magmar: I'm a flaming duck... or something. I kinda look like a dragon I guess...
Pinsir: Oh boy! Gamefreak told me that I'll get an evolution next generation! I hope its cool...
Tauros: Remember when I only learned normal attacks? That really was frustrating... Now I only learn moves that COMPLETELY ANNIHALATE
Magikarp: Karp Karp (splash)
Gyarados: SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOP DAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!!! (Fires Hyper Beam)
Lapras: Wanna get swept by me? then back off!
Ditto: Stop thinking I can turn into a Dawn sex slave already. I can only turn into pokemon... AND BE A GOOD PIMP!
Eevee: (cuddles with reader)
Vaporeon: I always wondered why I have 130 HP. isn't HP reserved for big, bulky Pokemon?
Jolteon: STOP USING ME AS A BATON PASSER! URGH, I STILL HAVE POTENTIAL!
Flareon: Why don't I learn Flare Blitz...
Porygon: I look just like most N64 games :P
Omanyte: First I'm cute...
Omastar: Then I become the original Hentai Tentacle!
Kabuto: Don't confuse me with the pretty boy from Naruto
Kabutops: What was with Gamefreak and scythes back then?
Aerodactyl: Give me a Choice Scarf! Cuz you know, 130 speed isn't fast enough.
Snorlax: I wonder what Blissey tastes like...
Articuno: I'm horrifically weak to Rock!
Zapdos: The only special non-electric moves I get are Ancient Power, Extrasensory, and Mud Slap. Why Mud Slap?
Moltres: Remember when the best fire move I learned through levels was fire spin? Yea... That really ticked me off
Dratini: I'm cute!
Dragonair: I'm prettier!
Dragonite: come on Libelldra, there's other things that can survive a switch in Scarf-Outrage besides Skarmory like um... um... Metagross? no wait um...
Mewtwo: I KILL OTHER POKEMON! TELL ME THAT'S NOT COOL!
Mew: I'm still under the truck waiting for you. Please come and save me :(
Chikorita: I'm Nintendo's attempt to draw in the Spanish crowd. FAIL
Bayleef: I kinda look like Okami with these rosaries around my neck
Meganium: You were expecting another Venusaur, but instead YOU GET ME! OH ISN'T THAT LOVELY??
Cyndaquil: I'm either a premature hedgehog... or some poor Asian joke.
Quilava: Excuse my butt flames. I had burritos for lunch
Typhlosion: Think of me as the BL Scarf Kyogre... Heh heh heh...
Totodile: I'm the reason you should buy baby crocodiles from Florida!
Croconaw: I look like I belong in Bedrock or something
Feraligatr: I'm the reason you should NOT buy baby crocodiles from Florida
Sentret: As a tanuki, Gamefreak wanted to give me a giant pouch, but in the end realized America would just censor it anyway
Furret: Did you know I'm almost 6 feet tall? Don't get spooked or anything when you see me :P
Hoohoot: The anime talked about how I actually have two legs, and the other is only visible when I walk. So confusing >.<
Noctowl: I tried to, but there's no way I can compete with Pidgeot...
Ledyba: The unwritten rule of "you can never harm a ladybug" doesn't apply to me. KISS ME!
Ledian: I look like I belong on a Cheerios commercial. Hey Buzz! they're after our honey! BUG BUZZ!
Spinarak: I thought spiders had 8 legs. Just goes to show that Gamefreak doesn't do their research.
Ariados: So? I only have 4 legs! At this rate, I pray I don't get an evolution anytime soon!
Crobat: Due to complaints by children and mothers everywhere, Gamefreak decided to evolve the "I-will-give-your-kids-nightmares" Golbat
Chinchou: My Japanese name used to be "Chinchou" as well, but anyone who knows Japanese here should understand why they changed it
Lanturn: I resist almost nothing, and take minimal damage from Grass Knot! USE ME!
Pichu: No one likes using me in SSBM because one moment I'm on the turtle in Link's stage, and then I'm on the left side and almost in the water
Cleffa: I bet more than half of you flee when you see me. There's no way you can hurt something as adorable as me? RIIIIGHT?
Igglypuff: Souls... Souls... Give me souls...
Togepi: Is this my body, or just the egg I was born in?
Togetic: I have this strange feeling that the egg part of me is actually a symbiote.
Natu: STARING CONTEST GO!
Xatu: (flashes reader and flies away)
Mareep: I'm actually an alien sheep trying to control everyone's minds be providing them with my soft fur
Flaffy: They shaved all my wool off... Now how am I going to survive the winder?
Ampharos: Finally! a good electric type that's not called Pikachu!
Bellossom: When I evolved, I actually shrunk to nearly half my height.
Marill: Not Pikablu!
Azumarill: I'm not a tank and I'm not a sweeper. Stop using me in OU!
Sudowoodo: I feel like I'm the result of a very bad joke..
Politoed: Woah, I look NOTHING like Poliwhirl!
Hoppip: I HAVE ADD LETS TO RIDE BICYCLES!
Skiploom: Copter 5 to Tower, come in tower keee~
Jumpluff: I'm x4 weak to Ice!
Aipom: Tee hee hee! I left you a present on your bed Ash!
Sunkern: Even Caterpie outclasses me!
Sunflora: When I'm in the sun, my base speed rises from 30 to an intense 60! Um, that's not really that impressive guys...
Yanma: I CAN SEE FOREVER!!!
Wooper: When the 5th generation comes out, I'll have a pre-evolution named Shooper :)
Quagsire: GIGGITY GIGGITY GOO!
Espeon: I'm just a weaker version of Gengar really...
Umbreon: I don't understand why people frequently use me. Dark types cant wall with teams sporting 3, maybe 4 fighting moves in total.
Murkrow: Gamefreak was obsessed with giving Pokemon the Dark typing as fast as posible.
Slowking: Yup, I didn't see it coming either. Care for a spot of tea?
Misdreavus: People demanded a ghost that wasn't weak to psychic, so they got me instead. A Pokemon that is instantly defeated by Alakazam, despite the typing
Unown: Even WE don't fully understand why we exist.
Wobbuffet: WOOOOOOBBUFFET! Punch of the wobba wobba! Who here's seen Bo-bo-bo?
Girafarig: If you say my name really first, it sounds like you're swearing.
Pineco: I hate my life... I don't even have arms...
Forretress: I'm one of the reasons why every team has a fire type move.
Dunsparce: Will I ever get an evolution? Does anyone know that I exist?
Gligar: I don't evolve from Golbat! Why did Gamefreak make us so similar anyway?
Steelix: It used to be that there were a ton of physical walls, so everyone used special attacks. Then SHE came along, and everyone started using physical attacks so... Why don't I see much use!?
Snubbull: I look like some creepy mole creature...
Granbull: I'm easily mistaken for a strong Pokemon. Don't bulldogs CHARGE at their opponent?
Qwilfish: How cute. a Pokemon named after a poisonous, yet exquisite delicacy. Don't worry kids, only 5 people die each year by eating my kind!
Scizor: I have no mouth, but I can take on Mewtwo anyday!
Shuckle: People... please... I'm not useful! I admit it! The Power Trick combo fails miserably!
Heracross: Nya nya, I get my own species! Although getting Pinsir as a pre-evolution would have been handy.
Sneasel: 95 physical attack, 35 special attack... yet ice and dark moves were both special back then...
Teddiursa: I'm a lovable huggable teddy bear!
Ursaring: But then I grow up... Give me more fish NOW
Slugma: Just read my description. My life sucks!
Magcargo: Because, you know, no one EVER goes into caves with fighting, ground and water type pokemon
Swinub: The first Pokemon to be created to resemble a carpet
Piloswine: Another Pokemon that belongs in Bedrock. Was Gamefreak onto something?
Corsola: If you rip off all my spikes, I look like Kirby!
Remoraid: Yummy Mantine yummy
octillery: I still hold the reward for "Largest evolution gap"
Delibird: I've got a present for ya! Open it up! (Notices Delibird's missing an ear)
Mantine: I'm a water flying type that knows how to fly! Uh oh, a thunderstorm!
Skarmory: You know, you guys should really stop associating me with Blissey. I don't care if you ban that whore, but leave me out of it!
Houndour: Why did Gamefreak make me evil? :(
Houndoom: I only have one moveset, so its pretty easy to predict what I'm gonna do in battle.
Kingdra: I'm either easy to kill, or I can sweep your whole team. Dragon Pulse didn't make things better either.
Phanpy: I'm not supposed to be here. Where's Pooh Bear?
Donphan: I'm not a tank, I'm a wall with guns!
Porygon2: After giving kids in Japan seizures, I gained enough experience to create a new evolution! Next up, AMERICA! MUA HA HA
Stantler: Just another odd-one-out normal type Pokemon
Smeargle: Smeargle used Spore! Smeargle used Mind Reader! Smeargle used Sheer Cold!
Tyrogue: I've been fasting to make room for muscles!
Hitmontop: You should look at life through my perspective!
Smoochum: Mommy, can I have lip surgery?
Elekid: Didn't your mother tell you not to mess around with power outlets?
Magby: My brain... Its huge! oh wait no, those are just boils
Miltank: Fighting pokemon makes my milk taste better, so use me more often! Please?
Blissey: (We couldn't find any Blisseys to interview due to that every single noob on Gamefaqs and Smogon feels that their team will fail without one of these whores)
Raikou: Well rounded stats aren't exactly a good thing...
Entei: What!? I don't get Flare Blitz!?
Suicune: Come on, don't make me an Uber! I'm still weak to um... Thunder Fang and um... Power...Whip?
Larvitar: How is it that I have the same typing as Geodude and Onix?
Pupitar: Metapod and Kakuna can't do what I can do :P
Tyanitar: It sure is nice being on Misty from Smogon's team. Intant permanent OU status is sweet!
Lugia: Player sent out Lugia! Opponent forfeited the match!
Ho-oh: Thank god only only Groudon and Deoxys use Rock attacks
Celebi: Hi! I have 7 weaknesses! Why do people still use me?
Treecko: I was probably inspired by Yoshi :/
Grovyle: Stereotypical Japanese Bancho? what Stereotype?
Sceptile: I learn moves like "Leaf Blade", but where are my blades anyway?
Torchic: I'm such a hot chick!
Combusken: Look at my thunder thighs! I should be a Fire/Electric type!
Blaziken: Kung Pow Chicken Kick! Needs more zesty hot flavoring!
Mudkip: I herd u liek me, but I don't liek u very much :(
Marshtomp: I'm the result of too much lieking
Swampert: Not even the advent of Energy Ball or Grass Knot can stop me! Viva la Swampert!
Poochyena: Zubat may dominate the caves, but I dominate the land!
Mightyena: I get pwned by Lucario in the 8th movie frequently :(
Zigzagoon: Why is my fur standing up like this? Go ask that Gardevoir over there...
Linoone: Don't I look a lot like someone from GSC?...
Wurmple: Because we don't have enough slimy bugs as is
Silcoon: I'm not Metapod
Beautifly: I'm not Butterfree
Cascoon: I'm not Kakuna
Dustox: I'm not Beedrill
Lotad: This lilypad on my head is actually a satilite that helps me avoid every trainer possible. Just try catching me Emerald users!
Lombre: I do what I can to hide my shame, but people keep laughing at my face :(
Ludicolo: SPANISH FIESTA!!!
Seedot: Hey... Is Pachirisu around here? No? Ok, I guess its safe to come out OH GOD NO!
Nuzleaf: The Lombre took our land. My tribe is not happy. We must fight back!
Shiftry: I'm based off of a Tengu, a creature that sometimes eats humans! Stay back if you know whats good for ya!
Tailow: It took them 2 generations to make another common bird Pokemon. I belong in a Disney movie.
Swellow: Swellow used Protect! Swellow was Burned! Opponent switches into a ghost type! Swellow uses Facade and misses! Trainer forfeited!
Wingull: I gather where dead Wailords beach themselves
Pelipper: (Insert x4 electric weakness joke here)
Ralts: Where'd everybody go?
Kirlia: I'm a pretty dancer la la la~
Gardevoir: I'm filing a court restraint order against all of you Gamefaqs perverts!
Surskit: Bug/Water. Such a cool combination. Shame it wasn't meant to be
Masquerain: Are these... Are these wings coming out of my head?
Shroomish: I'm Grumpy of the seven little Pokemon. Hi ho, hi ho,
Breloom: Breloom used Focus Punch! Breloom tripped due to the fact that Breloom doesn't even have hands!
Slakoth: I'm ADD
Vigoroth: and I'm ADHD. There IS a difference
Slaking: Giga Impact... heh heh heh... OH S*** ITS LUCARIO
Nincada: Bug/Ground... Only gives me additional weaknesses...
Ninjask: Here, take this (offers a Baton)
Shedinja: .................
Whismur: Shh... If I talk to loudly, my daddy will hurt me
Loudred: WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU. SPEAK UP
Exploud: HI. HAVE YOU SEEN THE SKY!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS SO ******* BEAUTIFUL! HI THERE LITTLE PIDGEY! DON'T YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH ME!?!!?!?!?
Makuhita: My face is actually a bag. Inside it is the skull of the first human I devoured
Hariyama: Say my name ten times fast and It'll sound like "Hairy Mama"
Azurill: Hi! Sometimes, when I evolve, I become a boy!
Nosepass: I'M SO USELESS!!!
Skitty: One day I was playing with my friends in the Day Care center, and all of a sudden a giant Wailord dropped from the sky! What kind of cruel trainer would do that!?
Delcatty: No one ever sees me because Skitty is just so much cuter... But I'm more mature, and some goes like mature women... Right? Ok, maybe not Gamefaqs
Sableye: I'll take all nine of you on! (Falls off of a cliff)
Mawile: Mommy! a bad man with a red hat keeps trying to throw fire balls at me!
Aron: I can't really move... Can someone pick me up?
Lairon: Chuck Norris might have a fist under his beard, but my beard IS a fist! (Crushes a rock with its beard)
Aggron: I'm weak to the ground, but I'm always on it. What a cruel world this is... OH GOD I TRIPPED (A Nuclear explosion can be seen from Stark Mountain)
Meditite: I look like a Buddhist monkey. Creationism vs. Evolution? Does Buddhism even follow a creationist belief?
Medicham: I don't understand why I'm so strong. My arms are flimsy, and I need one of them to keep my hat on straight!
Electrike: My tail fur sticks up so all of you can see my poo hole. It helps in battle.
Manetric: Just what we need. Another crappy generic Electric type.
Plusle: WITH OUR POWERS COMBINED...
Minun: ...WE STILL FAIL HARD. Hey look an Earthquake!
Volbeat: I never understood why I got Tail Glow. Its the same thing as Nasty Plot, except it used to be exclusive to me and was only in RSE.
Illumise: As a firefly I hold the soul of a dead person, so if I faint in battle its murder.
Roselia: FLOWER POWER! SMELL MY FLOWER!
Gulpin: Kirby's got nothing on me!
Swalot: King Dee Dee's got nothing on me!
Carvanha: Ugh, I poked my eye with my teeth again.
Sharpedo: I shouldn't be used. I mean, I can only swim forward! I don't have a rudder or anything like that. I'M A TORPEDO
Wailmer: Hyuk Hyuk Hyuk gimme some food.
Warlord: Ski.. Skitty... hurgh... Get over here and give me some lovin'...
Numel: Pooh Bear, I lost my tail again... oh bother...
Camerupt: People think cars are the cause of global warming. They just don't want to give me attention.
Torkoal: Can someone please open up my top so I can stop steaming this water?
Spoink: Pearls before Swine? Pearls on top of Swine!
Grumpig: Sure you can eat me... If you don't mind me taking over your mind when I'm inside of you.
Spinda: No two Spinda are alike, unless we're in Sinnoh. THEN we're alike.
Trapinch: Feed me. Feeeeeeeeeeed me...
Vibrava: CHIRP CHIRP CICADA NOISE HEY YOU ITS 7:00 IN THE MORNING AND I'M RIGHT OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR HEY YOU WAKE UP.
Flygon: I'm the Spirit of the Desert, so shouldn't that make me uber when a Sandstorm is going on?
Cacnea: I'm equiped with +1 clubs on my arms
Cacturne: Harley and I prefer the term "partners"
Swablu: What is? Get this white flull off of me!
Altaria: Oh no, its infesting my body! Eww Eww get it off!
Zangoose: I will defeat you Kakarot!
Seviper: This joke is one sided. I mean, I don't resemble Goku at all.
Lunatone: Dude... wanna get Lunatoned with me?
Solrock: Harvey Birdman makes sure I'm always around to help him
Barboach: Ha Ha! Inuendo jokes!
Whiscash: I think its about time Japan has another big earthquake.
Corphish: Run away! its Snorlax!
Crawdaunt: Just try and get me Stop and Shop clerk!
Baltoy: I was too ugly for Beybladez so they stuck me here.
Claydol: Its a shame when a wall is weak to moves that every sweeper has.
Lileep: I'm gonna get you Gordon Freeman!
Cradily: When I'm hungry, I chew on my eyes.
Anorith: Its hard to capture prey when my weak points are sticking out for the world to see.
Armaldo: Nyu.. Nmm. Ugh, I can't life my arms.
Feebas: Kiss me! ugly fish need love too...
Milotic: Ow, ow, stop pulling my eyebrows! YES THOSE ARE EYEBROWS.
Castform: The temperature will be a nice 50 degrees with a chance of Rain Dance in the west, Sunny Day in the south and Hail in the north easy. There is also a Sandstorm advisory in the central stats. Matt, back to you.
Kecleon: Psst, go to Deviantart.com and look up "Purple Kecleon"
Shuppet: Wa, HEY! Take your hand out of there!
Bannete: High Five! wait, oh. um, come around here and do it. Yea, that's good. High Five! What? ok fine Low Five just go away.
Duskull Hey look, its Mario! lets stalk him heh heh Oh no turn around TURN AROUND HE'S LOOKING AT US
Dusclops: Its not the BST that counts, but rather where those stats are.
Tropius: HM Slave ready to go!
Chimecho: Still looking for me RSE users?
Absol: Amazing attack power... Now just wait there until I reach you. Might take a while.
Wynaut: I don't know, why not?
Snorunt: Ha! Ainu stereotype! Take THAT traditional Japanese ancestry!
Glalie: You encountered a wild Beholder- I mean Glalie!
Spheal: RSE: The clone generation. Hi Seel.
Sealeo: Check this out? eh? Isn't it the largest you've ever seen? Don't you wanna touch it? I'm sure you had one like mine. Well this moustache isn't for sale.
Walrein: DIABEETUS
Clamperl: (Help me out here, I'm really stumped on this one!)
Huntail: I guess I'm a clownfish?
Gorebyss: Am I a dolphin?
Relicanth: whats with these tanks and walls that are weak against the types they're supposed to protect against?
Luvdisc: What ever happened to NGW and his EmoDisc?
Bagon: I kind of look like kids that use Salamence in their team
Shelgon: I evolve into Flygon. What? I don't? Ok.
Salamence: Dragonite, T-tar, Metagross and I live the good life. Uber stats, yet we'll always be in standard play...
Beldum: Catch rate of 3 CATCH RATE OF 3
Metang: My mission is to abduct as many Miltanks as I can and return to my homeworld
Metagross: Autobots! Transform and Roll out!
Regirock: I'm actually very Jewish. The people who created me put my Star of David on my butt for some reason
Regice: Legendaries shouldn't be outclassed by common Pokemon
Registeel: HEIL HITLER!
Latias: Stop having sexual fantasys about me :/
Latios: Spoilers: I DIE
Kyogre: Choice Scarf time!
Groudon: You know, don't bother using me. You want physical? Just choose Rayquaza or Arceus.
Rayquaza: I'LL GET YOU STAR FOX, EVEN IF ITS THE LAST THING I DO!
Jirachi: Ok, if Nintendo wanted to make me cute, why the hell did they put a freakin demonic eye in my stomach?
Deoxys (Normal): Why would anybody want to use me anyway?
Deoxys (Attack): The ultimate Hit-And-Run Pokemon ever to exist
Deoxys (Defense): a Psychic wall in a game dominated by Bug, Dark and Ghost moves. Smart choice Gamefreak
Deoxys (Speed): No I am not OU. I don't even need a Choice Scarf to own. Imagine choice band Aerodactyl... Now imagine that with a huge variety of moves. Yo.
I'll continue posting later in an Edit
Bulbasaur: People love me because I'm ka-wa-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Ivysaur: No one liked me since I wasn't as cute as Bulbasaur, but I wasn't tough like Venusaur
Venusaur: Remember me in TCG? I totally dominated!
Charmander: Char char! You all cried when I was introduced in the anime! Admit it!
Charmeleon: I portray myself as a bully to help me cope with my fear of water
Charizard: I bet you all have a holographic card of me somewhere in your house...
Squirtle: Stereotypical Japanese Squirtle Squad Gang go!
Wartortle: I'm what Squirtle would like if it did Meth
Blastoise: Who's "Genius" idea was it to give me a GUN? Two at that!
Caterpie: I exist to scare Misty
Metapod: Meta Meta... I created the Metagame...
Butterfree: I waited for you Ash...
Weedle: The lesser of two Weedles
Kakuna: Anybody remember the legendary Kakuna thread?
Beedrill: Why am I always portrayed as the bad guy?
Pidgey: I was the first pokemon you ever caught. REMINISCE!
Pidgeotto: All of you used me in RBY, then gave me fly, and then made me an HM slave...
Pidgeot: Do I have better stats yet? At least I can out speed Lucario :/
Rattata: FEAR me...
Raticate: Hyper Fang was pretty scary back then, right?... Good times...
Spearow: I'm the "cooler" version of Pidgey
Fearow: I used to be so badass... Now look at me... People only use me to get a Skarmory...
Ekans: My name is Snake backwards! THAT'S CRAZY!
Arbok: My name is Kobra backwards!... Wait...
Pikachu: Light Ball? THAT'S Gamefreak's master plan to make me usable?
Raichu: I'm still faster than you Pikachu... and speed is all that matters...
Sandshrew: Gamefreak sure loves mouses for some reason
Sandslash: Lavos appeared!!!
Nidoran F: You caught me, thinking I was Nidoran M... SEXISTS!
Nidorina: Just another branch pokemon...
Nidoqueen: Damn male tyranny...
Nidoran M: What am I, a mouse from hell? Why am I spiked?
Nidorino: I'm a hamster with rabies! I'M GONNA GET YA!
Nidoking: I'm the King!... of Pokemon who look uber-strong, but are actually horrendously weak...
Clefairy: Watch my fingers... Watch them.. CLEFAIRY! (Uses Draco Meteor)
Clefable: Clefairy doesn't have an evolution. I'm just an overweight Clefairy. Really.
Vulpix: I'm a foxy girl nya~
Ninetales: WILL ALL OF YOU KITSUNE MANIAC FREAKS GET AWAY FROM ME ALREADY!?
Jigglypuff: Psst... I can take down Fox any day...
Wigglytuff: STARE INTO MY EYES
Zubat: (no commentary. Zubat is currently with his 100 siblings bothering some trainer in some cave)
Golbat: FEEEEEEEEEED MEEEEEEEE
Oddish: I'm so adorable! Hug me~
Gloom: I can't seem to open my eyes...
Vileplume: I'm just a wannabe Chansey...
Paras: Please oh please don't hurt me Mr. Charizard...
Parasect: I can outclass that Breloom anyday... I'm the real Spore user!
Venonat: Remember when I was the "Ninja" Pokemon?... What am I anyway?
Venomoth: I'M A GIANT MOTH! WHY WOULD ANYBODY WANT TO USE ME?
Diglet: Diglett Dig Diglett Dig
Dugtrio: TRIO TRIO TRIO
Meowth: Meowwwwth, That's Right!
Persian: Persian used Slash! It's a Critical hit! Golem fainted! (Wait, what!?)
Psyduck: Psy... duck?
Golduck: I always thought I was inspired by Daffy Duck for some reason.
Mankey: I NEED MORE POOOO
Primeape: PUNCH-A PUNCH-A PUNCH-A I TOOK YOUR HAT ASH!
Growlithe: James, why didn't you take me along?
Arcanine: I have 550 BST! Why am I not used more often!?
Poliwag: OMG!! WHERE ARE MY HANDS!
Poliwhirl: Oh, there they are. Notice how my swirl changed... Eh? Eh? Pretty cool?
Poliwrath: If I hear one more "Battletoads" joke...
Abra: Am I a bug... or a fox?... or a bugfox?...
Kadabra: I look like I belong in DBZ or something. Kamehameha!
Alakazam: Second to only Mewtwo. Heh heh heh...
Machop: Remember that kid in Elementary school that had no neck?
Machoke: I don't take steroids...
Machamp: Lets see... Side effects include constipation, stomach aches, drowsiness and MULTIPLE LIMB GROWTH!?
Bellsprout: I was the first sexual inuendo!
Weepinbell: I float, but I don't have levitate. Strange
Victreebell: VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!! (eats James' head)
Tentacool: I'm the reason all of you hate using Surf.
Tentacruel: Just think of it. If Suicune's ever banned, you'll be seeing a lot more of ME
Geodude: How do I move around? I forgot
Graveler: Gonna rape ya... GONNA RAPE YA...
Golem: Who's great idea was it to make me x4 weak against grass and water?
Ponyta: My little pony... da de da...
Rapidash: I'm the only useful fire Pokemon in Sinnoh besides Infernape...
Slowpoke: Slow.............
Slowbro: Slow....... Bro?
Magnemite: Great, now I have a x4 weakness to ground... gotta use Magnet Rise now.
Magneton: Am I one Pokemon, or three Pokemon? DECIDE
Farfetch'd: Am I useful yet? Cubone gets x2 attack power... I get a bonus to crit... wowie...
Doduo: I sure look tasty
Dodrio: Dodrio used Endure! Dodrio used Flail!... That's all I'm good for really.
Seel: I want to KILL whoever gave me this name
Dewgong: The original Dragon Slayer! Dewgong gong gong :-3
Grimer: Shake my hand! oops, it fell off...
Muk: I'm the result of industries mass producing pokeballs.
Shellder: Did you know I don't learn the move "lick"?
Cloyster: 180 Defense! 50 HP! 45 Sp. Def!
Gastly: Something's strange... In the neighborhood...
Haunter: Who ya gonna call... GHOST BUSTERS!
Gengar: I'm a fat ghost weighing at 89.3 pounds. How do I do it? read my book!
Onix: I'm gonna get you one day for what you did to me Pikachu...
Drowzee: I look like some miserable child's nightmare. Why would Gamefreak bring me into existence?
Hypno: Did Gamefreak really think I could compete with Alakazam back in the days of RBY?
Krabby: (foams at the mouth)
Kingler: (Unfortunately, all the Kinglers we encountered were dead. They all appeared to have been killed by someone hitting their weak point for massive damage)
Voltorb: I have Vegeta eyes for some reason. Why are we so uncool?
Electrode: People... Please stop giving me explosion. 50 Attack power isn't going to get you very far...
Exeggcute: How cute. a Pokemon made to resemble a fetus
Exeggutor: If our heads are fruit, can other Pokemon eat us?
Cubone: Will you be my mommy? I already ate my other one :(
Marowak: This is why you don't play with super glue (points to skull)
Hitmonlee: Do I have arms sticking out of my face, or do I have a face on my body? YOU DECIDE!
Hitmonchan: I don't remember Jackie Chan ever using boxing gloves before
Lickitung: My tongue makes Yoshi look like a no-show!
Koffing: http://www.chaobell.net/gallery/d/1995-1/1175311620944.png
Weezing: Don't smoke kids, or you'll look like me one day COUGH
Rhyhorn: At least I out speed Shuckle
Rhydon: "Aim for the horn" bleah bleah bleah. Leave me alone...
Chansey: ahh, I am such a failure of a pokemon with my 250 HP and my 105 special defense. If only I had an evolution...
Tangela: Behold! The only RBY grass type that isn't weak to psychic Pokemon for some unexplainable reason!
Kangaskhan: I'm born with my baby already born, but it never grows up and nor can it breed... Is it even a Pokemon? It could be a parasite for all I know...
Horsea: I'm sooo much cuter than Squirtle!
Seadra: why didn't they just make me a dragon type back in RBY?
Goldeen: I'll appear in SSBB as well. Just wait and watch!
Seaking: **** YEAH SEAKING!!!
Staryu: (makes strange echo noises)
Starmie: I wish I had a face... and a soul...
Mr. Mime: Well, we're all "Misters", but we get our romantic enjoyment through "other" means. These aren't gloves you know.
Scyther: Baby Tier status? heh heh heh, I've been expecting you Caterpie...
Jynx: I used to be Black, but Gamefreak turned racist on me!
Electabuzz: Oh yes, pip pip, I am quite formal indeed. However, a strange impulse comes over me when I see the color red. Is that Ketchup? BLAHLABLAHALBBALHALBLAHLABALHALHABLAH
Magmar: I'm a flaming duck... or something. I kinda look like a dragon I guess...
Pinsir: Oh boy! Gamefreak told me that I'll get an evolution next generation! I hope its cool...
Tauros: Remember when I only learned normal attacks? That really was frustrating... Now I only learn moves that COMPLETELY ANNIHALATE
Magikarp: Karp Karp (splash)
Gyarados: SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOP DAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!!! (Fires Hyper Beam)
Lapras: Wanna get swept by me? then back off!
Ditto: Stop thinking I can turn into a Dawn sex slave already. I can only turn into pokemon... AND BE A GOOD PIMP!
Eevee: (cuddles with reader)
Vaporeon: I always wondered why I have 130 HP. isn't HP reserved for big, bulky Pokemon?
Jolteon: STOP USING ME AS A BATON PASSER! URGH, I STILL HAVE POTENTIAL!
Flareon: Why don't I learn Flare Blitz...
Porygon: I look just like most N64 games :P
Omanyte: First I'm cute...
Omastar: Then I become the original Hentai Tentacle!
Kabuto: Don't confuse me with the pretty boy from Naruto
Kabutops: What was with Gamefreak and scythes back then?
Aerodactyl: Give me a Choice Scarf! Cuz you know, 130 speed isn't fast enough.
Snorlax: I wonder what Blissey tastes like...
Articuno: I'm horrifically weak to Rock!
Zapdos: The only special non-electric moves I get are Ancient Power, Extrasensory, and Mud Slap. Why Mud Slap?
Moltres: Remember when the best fire move I learned through levels was fire spin? Yea... That really ticked me off
Dratini: I'm cute!
Dragonair: I'm prettier!
Dragonite: come on Libelldra, there's other things that can survive a switch in Scarf-Outrage besides Skarmory like um... um... Metagross? no wait um...
Mewtwo: I KILL OTHER POKEMON! TELL ME THAT'S NOT COOL!
Mew: I'm still under the truck waiting for you. Please come and save me :(
Chikorita: I'm Nintendo's attempt to draw in the Spanish crowd. FAIL
Bayleef: I kinda look like Okami with these rosaries around my neck
Meganium: You were expecting another Venusaur, but instead YOU GET ME! OH ISN'T THAT LOVELY??
Cyndaquil: I'm either a premature hedgehog... or some poor Asian joke.
Quilava: Excuse my butt flames. I had burritos for lunch
Typhlosion: Think of me as the BL Scarf Kyogre... Heh heh heh...
Totodile: I'm the reason you should buy baby crocodiles from Florida!
Croconaw: I look like I belong in Bedrock or something
Feraligatr: I'm the reason you should NOT buy baby crocodiles from Florida
Sentret: As a tanuki, Gamefreak wanted to give me a giant pouch, but in the end realized America would just censor it anyway
Furret: Did you know I'm almost 6 feet tall? Don't get spooked or anything when you see me :P
Hoohoot: The anime talked about how I actually have two legs, and the other is only visible when I walk. So confusing >.<
Noctowl: I tried to, but there's no way I can compete with Pidgeot...
Ledyba: The unwritten rule of "you can never harm a ladybug" doesn't apply to me. KISS ME!
Ledian: I look like I belong on a Cheerios commercial. Hey Buzz! they're after our honey! BUG BUZZ!
Spinarak: I thought spiders had 8 legs. Just goes to show that Gamefreak doesn't do their research.
Ariados: So? I only have 4 legs! At this rate, I pray I don't get an evolution anytime soon!
Crobat: Due to complaints by children and mothers everywhere, Gamefreak decided to evolve the "I-will-give-your-kids-nightmares" Golbat
Chinchou: My Japanese name used to be "Chinchou" as well, but anyone who knows Japanese here should understand why they changed it
Lanturn: I resist almost nothing, and take minimal damage from Grass Knot! USE ME!
Pichu: No one likes using me in SSBM because one moment I'm on the turtle in Link's stage, and then I'm on the left side and almost in the water
Cleffa: I bet more than half of you flee when you see me. There's no way you can hurt something as adorable as me? RIIIIGHT?
Igglypuff: Souls... Souls... Give me souls...
Togepi: Is this my body, or just the egg I was born in?
Togetic: I have this strange feeling that the egg part of me is actually a symbiote.
Natu: STARING CONTEST GO!
Xatu: (flashes reader and flies away)
Mareep: I'm actually an alien sheep trying to control everyone's minds be providing them with my soft fur
Flaffy: They shaved all my wool off... Now how am I going to survive the winder?
Ampharos: Finally! a good electric type that's not called Pikachu!
Bellossom: When I evolved, I actually shrunk to nearly half my height.
Marill: Not Pikablu!
Azumarill: I'm not a tank and I'm not a sweeper. Stop using me in OU!
Sudowoodo: I feel like I'm the result of a very bad joke..
Politoed: Woah, I look NOTHING like Poliwhirl!
Hoppip: I HAVE ADD LETS TO RIDE BICYCLES!
Skiploom: Copter 5 to Tower, come in tower keee~
Jumpluff: I'm x4 weak to Ice!
Aipom: Tee hee hee! I left you a present on your bed Ash!
Sunkern: Even Caterpie outclasses me!
Sunflora: When I'm in the sun, my base speed rises from 30 to an intense 60! Um, that's not really that impressive guys...
Yanma: I CAN SEE FOREVER!!!
Wooper: When the 5th generation comes out, I'll have a pre-evolution named Shooper :)
Quagsire: GIGGITY GIGGITY GOO!
Espeon: I'm just a weaker version of Gengar really...
Umbreon: I don't understand why people frequently use me. Dark types cant wall with teams sporting 3, maybe 4 fighting moves in total.
Murkrow: Gamefreak was obsessed with giving Pokemon the Dark typing as fast as posible.
Slowking: Yup, I didn't see it coming either. Care for a spot of tea?
Misdreavus: People demanded a ghost that wasn't weak to psychic, so they got me instead. A Pokemon that is instantly defeated by Alakazam, despite the typing
Unown: Even WE don't fully understand why we exist.
Wobbuffet: WOOOOOOBBUFFET! Punch of the wobba wobba! Who here's seen Bo-bo-bo?
Girafarig: If you say my name really first, it sounds like you're swearing.
Pineco: I hate my life... I don't even have arms...
Forretress: I'm one of the reasons why every team has a fire type move.
Dunsparce: Will I ever get an evolution? Does anyone know that I exist?
Gligar: I don't evolve from Golbat! Why did Gamefreak make us so similar anyway?
Steelix: It used to be that there were a ton of physical walls, so everyone used special attacks. Then SHE came along, and everyone started using physical attacks so... Why don't I see much use!?
Snubbull: I look like some creepy mole creature...
Granbull: I'm easily mistaken for a strong Pokemon. Don't bulldogs CHARGE at their opponent?
Qwilfish: How cute. a Pokemon named after a poisonous, yet exquisite delicacy. Don't worry kids, only 5 people die each year by eating my kind!
Scizor: I have no mouth, but I can take on Mewtwo anyday!
Shuckle: People... please... I'm not useful! I admit it! The Power Trick combo fails miserably!
Heracross: Nya nya, I get my own species! Although getting Pinsir as a pre-evolution would have been handy.
Sneasel: 95 physical attack, 35 special attack... yet ice and dark moves were both special back then...
Teddiursa: I'm a lovable huggable teddy bear!
Ursaring: But then I grow up... Give me more fish NOW
Slugma: Just read my description. My life sucks!
Magcargo: Because, you know, no one EVER goes into caves with fighting, ground and water type pokemon
Swinub: The first Pokemon to be created to resemble a carpet
Piloswine: Another Pokemon that belongs in Bedrock. Was Gamefreak onto something?
Corsola: If you rip off all my spikes, I look like Kirby!
Remoraid: Yummy Mantine yummy
octillery: I still hold the reward for "Largest evolution gap"
Delibird: I've got a present for ya! Open it up! (Notices Delibird's missing an ear)
Mantine: I'm a water flying type that knows how to fly! Uh oh, a thunderstorm!
Skarmory: You know, you guys should really stop associating me with Blissey. I don't care if you ban that whore, but leave me out of it!
Houndour: Why did Gamefreak make me evil? :(
Houndoom: I only have one moveset, so its pretty easy to predict what I'm gonna do in battle.
Kingdra: I'm either easy to kill, or I can sweep your whole team. Dragon Pulse didn't make things better either.
Phanpy: I'm not supposed to be here. Where's Pooh Bear?
Donphan: I'm not a tank, I'm a wall with guns!
Porygon2: After giving kids in Japan seizures, I gained enough experience to create a new evolution! Next up, AMERICA! MUA HA HA
Stantler: Just another odd-one-out normal type Pokemon
Smeargle: Smeargle used Spore! Smeargle used Mind Reader! Smeargle used Sheer Cold!
Tyrogue: I've been fasting to make room for muscles!
Hitmontop: You should look at life through my perspective!
Smoochum: Mommy, can I have lip surgery?
Elekid: Didn't your mother tell you not to mess around with power outlets?
Magby: My brain... Its huge! oh wait no, those are just boils
Miltank: Fighting pokemon makes my milk taste better, so use me more often! Please?
Blissey: (We couldn't find any Blisseys to interview due to that every single noob on Gamefaqs and Smogon feels that their team will fail without one of these whores)
Raikou: Well rounded stats aren't exactly a good thing...
Entei: What!? I don't get Flare Blitz!?
Suicune: Come on, don't make me an Uber! I'm still weak to um... Thunder Fang and um... Power...Whip?
Larvitar: How is it that I have the same typing as Geodude and Onix?
Pupitar: Metapod and Kakuna can't do what I can do :P
Tyanitar: It sure is nice being on Misty from Smogon's team. Intant permanent OU status is sweet!
Lugia: Player sent out Lugia! Opponent forfeited the match!
Ho-oh: Thank god only only Groudon and Deoxys use Rock attacks
Celebi: Hi! I have 7 weaknesses! Why do people still use me?
Treecko: I was probably inspired by Yoshi :/
Grovyle: Stereotypical Japanese Bancho? what Stereotype?
Sceptile: I learn moves like "Leaf Blade", but where are my blades anyway?
Torchic: I'm such a hot chick!
Combusken: Look at my thunder thighs! I should be a Fire/Electric type!
Blaziken: Kung Pow Chicken Kick! Needs more zesty hot flavoring!
Mudkip: I herd u liek me, but I don't liek u very much :(
Marshtomp: I'm the result of too much lieking
Swampert: Not even the advent of Energy Ball or Grass Knot can stop me! Viva la Swampert!
Poochyena: Zubat may dominate the caves, but I dominate the land!
Mightyena: I get pwned by Lucario in the 8th movie frequently :(
Zigzagoon: Why is my fur standing up like this? Go ask that Gardevoir over there...
Linoone: Don't I look a lot like someone from GSC?...
Wurmple: Because we don't have enough slimy bugs as is
Silcoon: I'm not Metapod
Beautifly: I'm not Butterfree
Cascoon: I'm not Kakuna
Dustox: I'm not Beedrill
Lotad: This lilypad on my head is actually a satilite that helps me avoid every trainer possible. Just try catching me Emerald users!
Lombre: I do what I can to hide my shame, but people keep laughing at my face :(
Ludicolo: SPANISH FIESTA!!!
Seedot: Hey... Is Pachirisu around here? No? Ok, I guess its safe to come out OH GOD NO!
Nuzleaf: The Lombre took our land. My tribe is not happy. We must fight back!
Shiftry: I'm based off of a Tengu, a creature that sometimes eats humans! Stay back if you know whats good for ya!
Tailow: It took them 2 generations to make another common bird Pokemon. I belong in a Disney movie.
Swellow: Swellow used Protect! Swellow was Burned! Opponent switches into a ghost type! Swellow uses Facade and misses! Trainer forfeited!
Wingull: I gather where dead Wailords beach themselves
Pelipper: (Insert x4 electric weakness joke here)
Ralts: Where'd everybody go?
Kirlia: I'm a pretty dancer la la la~
Gardevoir: I'm filing a court restraint order against all of you Gamefaqs perverts!
Surskit: Bug/Water. Such a cool combination. Shame it wasn't meant to be
Masquerain: Are these... Are these wings coming out of my head?
Shroomish: I'm Grumpy of the seven little Pokemon. Hi ho, hi ho,
Breloom: Breloom used Focus Punch! Breloom tripped due to the fact that Breloom doesn't even have hands!
Slakoth: I'm ADD
Vigoroth: and I'm ADHD. There IS a difference
Slaking: Giga Impact... heh heh heh... OH S*** ITS LUCARIO
Nincada: Bug/Ground... Only gives me additional weaknesses...
Ninjask: Here, take this (offers a Baton)
Shedinja: .................
Whismur: Shh... If I talk to loudly, my daddy will hurt me
Loudred: WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU. SPEAK UP
Exploud: HI. HAVE YOU SEEN THE SKY!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS SO ******* BEAUTIFUL! HI THERE LITTLE PIDGEY! DON'T YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH ME!?!!?!?!?
Makuhita: My face is actually a bag. Inside it is the skull of the first human I devoured
Hariyama: Say my name ten times fast and It'll sound like "Hairy Mama"
Azurill: Hi! Sometimes, when I evolve, I become a boy!
Nosepass: I'M SO USELESS!!!
Skitty: One day I was playing with my friends in the Day Care center, and all of a sudden a giant Wailord dropped from the sky! What kind of cruel trainer would do that!?
Delcatty: No one ever sees me because Skitty is just so much cuter... But I'm more mature, and some goes like mature women... Right? Ok, maybe not Gamefaqs
Sableye: I'll take all nine of you on! (Falls off of a cliff)
Mawile: Mommy! a bad man with a red hat keeps trying to throw fire balls at me!
Aron: I can't really move... Can someone pick me up?
Lairon: Chuck Norris might have a fist under his beard, but my beard IS a fist! (Crushes a rock with its beard)
Aggron: I'm weak to the ground, but I'm always on it. What a cruel world this is... OH GOD I TRIPPED (A Nuclear explosion can be seen from Stark Mountain)
Meditite: I look like a Buddhist monkey. Creationism vs. Evolution? Does Buddhism even follow a creationist belief?
Medicham: I don't understand why I'm so strong. My arms are flimsy, and I need one of them to keep my hat on straight!
Electrike: My tail fur sticks up so all of you can see my poo hole. It helps in battle.
Manetric: Just what we need. Another crappy generic Electric type.
Plusle: WITH OUR POWERS COMBINED...
Minun: ...WE STILL FAIL HARD. Hey look an Earthquake!
Volbeat: I never understood why I got Tail Glow. Its the same thing as Nasty Plot, except it used to be exclusive to me and was only in RSE.
Illumise: As a firefly I hold the soul of a dead person, so if I faint in battle its murder.
Roselia: FLOWER POWER! SMELL MY FLOWER!
Gulpin: Kirby's got nothing on me!
Swalot: King Dee Dee's got nothing on me!
Carvanha: Ugh, I poked my eye with my teeth again.
Sharpedo: I shouldn't be used. I mean, I can only swim forward! I don't have a rudder or anything like that. I'M A TORPEDO
Wailmer: Hyuk Hyuk Hyuk gimme some food.
Warlord: Ski.. Skitty... hurgh... Get over here and give me some lovin'...
Numel: Pooh Bear, I lost my tail again... oh bother...
Camerupt: People think cars are the cause of global warming. They just don't want to give me attention.
Torkoal: Can someone please open up my top so I can stop steaming this water?
Spoink: Pearls before Swine? Pearls on top of Swine!
Grumpig: Sure you can eat me... If you don't mind me taking over your mind when I'm inside of you.
Spinda: No two Spinda are alike, unless we're in Sinnoh. THEN we're alike.
Trapinch: Feed me. Feeeeeeeeeeed me...
Vibrava: CHIRP CHIRP CICADA NOISE HEY YOU ITS 7:00 IN THE MORNING AND I'M RIGHT OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR HEY YOU WAKE UP.
Flygon: I'm the Spirit of the Desert, so shouldn't that make me uber when a Sandstorm is going on?
Cacnea: I'm equiped with +1 clubs on my arms
Cacturne: Harley and I prefer the term "partners"
Swablu: What is? Get this white flull off of me!
Altaria: Oh no, its infesting my body! Eww Eww get it off!
Zangoose: I will defeat you Kakarot!
Seviper: This joke is one sided. I mean, I don't resemble Goku at all.
Lunatone: Dude... wanna get Lunatoned with me?
Solrock: Harvey Birdman makes sure I'm always around to help him
Barboach: Ha Ha! Inuendo jokes!
Whiscash: I think its about time Japan has another big earthquake.
Corphish: Run away! its Snorlax!
Crawdaunt: Just try and get me Stop and Shop clerk!
Baltoy: I was too ugly for Beybladez so they stuck me here.
Claydol: Its a shame when a wall is weak to moves that every sweeper has.
Lileep: I'm gonna get you Gordon Freeman!
Cradily: When I'm hungry, I chew on my eyes.
Anorith: Its hard to capture prey when my weak points are sticking out for the world to see.
Armaldo: Nyu.. Nmm. Ugh, I can't life my arms.
Feebas: Kiss me! ugly fish need love too...
Milotic: Ow, ow, stop pulling my eyebrows! YES THOSE ARE EYEBROWS.
Castform: The temperature will be a nice 50 degrees with a chance of Rain Dance in the west, Sunny Day in the south and Hail in the north easy. There is also a Sandstorm advisory in the central stats. Matt, back to you.
Kecleon: Psst, go to Deviantart.com and look up "Purple Kecleon"
Shuppet: Wa, HEY! Take your hand out of there!
Bannete: High Five! wait, oh. um, come around here and do it. Yea, that's good. High Five! What? ok fine Low Five just go away.
Duskull Hey look, its Mario! lets stalk him heh heh Oh no turn around TURN AROUND HE'S LOOKING AT US
Dusclops: Its not the BST that counts, but rather where those stats are.
Tropius: HM Slave ready to go!
Chimecho: Still looking for me RSE users?
Absol: Amazing attack power... Now just wait there until I reach you. Might take a while.
Wynaut: I don't know, why not?
Snorunt: Ha! Ainu stereotype! Take THAT traditional Japanese ancestry!
Glalie: You encountered a wild Beholder- I mean Glalie!
Spheal: RSE: The clone generation. Hi Seel.
Sealeo: Check this out? eh? Isn't it the largest you've ever seen? Don't you wanna touch it? I'm sure you had one like mine. Well this moustache isn't for sale.
Walrein: DIABEETUS
Clamperl: (Help me out here, I'm really stumped on this one!)
Huntail: I guess I'm a clownfish?
Gorebyss: Am I a dolphin?
Relicanth: whats with these tanks and walls that are weak against the types they're supposed to protect against?
Luvdisc: What ever happened to NGW and his EmoDisc?
Bagon: I kind of look like kids that use Salamence in their team
Shelgon: I evolve into Flygon. What? I don't? Ok.
Salamence: Dragonite, T-tar, Metagross and I live the good life. Uber stats, yet we'll always be in standard play...
Beldum: Catch rate of 3 CATCH RATE OF 3
Metang: My mission is to abduct as many Miltanks as I can and return to my homeworld
Metagross: Autobots! Transform and Roll out!
Regirock: I'm actually very Jewish. The people who created me put my Star of David on my butt for some reason
Regice: Legendaries shouldn't be outclassed by common Pokemon
Registeel: HEIL HITLER!
Latias: Stop having sexual fantasys about me :/
Latios: Spoilers: I DIE
Kyogre: Choice Scarf time!
Groudon: You know, don't bother using me. You want physical? Just choose Rayquaza or Arceus.
Rayquaza: I'LL GET YOU STAR FOX, EVEN IF ITS THE LAST THING I DO!
Jirachi: Ok, if Nintendo wanted to make me cute, why the hell did they put a freakin demonic eye in my stomach?
Deoxys (Normal): Why would anybody want to use me anyway?
Deoxys (Attack): The ultimate Hit-And-Run Pokemon ever to exist
Deoxys (Defense): a Psychic wall in a game dominated by Bug, Dark and Ghost moves. Smart choice Gamefreak
Deoxys (Speed): No I am not OU. I don't even need a Choice Scarf to own. Imagine choice band Aerodactyl... Now imagine that with a huge variety of moves. Yo.
I'll continue posting later in an Edit
| QUOTE |
| Fearow: I used to be so badass... Now look at me... People only use me to get a Skarmory... Machoke: I don't take steroids... Machamp: Lets see... Side effects include constipation, stomach aches, drowsiness and MULTIPLE LIMB GROWTH!? |
Great lines. Classic, I'll look forward to the rest.
| QUOTE |
| Weezing: Don't smoke kids, or you'll look like me one day COUGH |
Don't you mean "WHEEZE"?
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