Forums · I present to you, Libelldra, another failure.
Well, the urge hit me last night, and I ended up writing this. I know it's not very good, but I need to put something on this forum, and I need the criticism. Anyway, here goes:
First off, I?d like to say that there really is no point to this story. It?s just something that happened to me about a week ago. I also recognize that this is no masterpiece and that my prose is lacking, to put it euphemistically. I just wrote this because I felt like it, that?s all.
Anyway, it began with a party some guy I know threw, one of those ?everyone?s invited? deals. I don?t know why, but I decided to go, even though social gatherings aren?t my forte. I encountered a few guys I knew and paled around with them awhile, but most of them soon left or hung around with their other friends, so I was pretty much a wallflower the rest of the time I was there?like I said, social gatherings aren?t my forte. I ended up slipping out around 10:45 or so, effectively missing all of the epic moments that I would hear of constantly at school the following Monday. The guy throwing the party, some preppy senior fox?truth be told, I really don?t know him well at all?lived relatively close to where I do, so I decided to walk home.
Between his house and my apartment there?s a park I used to go to a lot when I was a little kid. It?s right behind my apartment complex, so I decided to cut through it to get home, my usual practice. Understandably, the place was deserted: it was closed and my being there was technically trespassing. I didn?t see a single soul on my trek back home save for a 20-something weasel riding his bike somewhere, but he paid me no attention. I walked along the narrow street that goes through the park stopping short of my apartment complex. The lights in the park were out, but fortunately, the weather was beautiful and the moon and stars shone clear. It really should have been an eerie setting, now that I think of it.
I pulled my thin coat about me tightly and picked up the pace. The fall breeze was nippy and I?m no big fan of night strolls. However, even though I was trying to get home as soon as possible, something made me walk away from the road into the part of the park with the playground. I honestly do not know why I did it?maybe I was tired or something?but I decided to sit down for awhile on one of the wooden benches. Carefully avoiding any bird crap, I sat down with a sigh and stared up into the sky. Like I said before, the weather was excellent. A full moon, pale yellow, hung in the sky surrounded by thousands of stars glittering like diamonds?a rather mundane occurrence and clich? description, I know, but I just sat there admiring it. Crickets chirped somewhere. I could faintly hear the highway in the distance. I had momentarily forgotten about the cold.
I leaned forward and focused my attention on my surroundings. Two old, rusty soccer goals stood on the field to my right. Next to the field there were two tennis courts surrounded by chain link fence. Behind me to the left there was a basketball court. The asphalt was new; the baskets weren?t. In front of me past the playground was a water park that has been there for God knows how long, although you wouldn?t guess that by looking at it. They keep it up to date, so it always seems to look new. It was closed until summer rolled around again, but its loneliness didn?t stand out alongside the rest of the deserted area. Directly in front of me was a playground. Most o fit was relatively new, only two or three years old. When I was a young rat, I played here often. There used to be a huge slide that I couldn?t tire of going down. You could see pretty well from the top. There was also a worn, slightly rickety carousel that I would beg my parents to spin with me on it until it became an oversized centrifuge. There was a lot of other good stuff. It?s all gone now. The slide and carousel disappeared long ago, the sand has been replaced by wood chips, and everything is plastic and safe.
I leaned my head back, faced the heavens again, and closed my eyes. It?s funny, really. It?s places like that were you hear of all the muggers and rapists and weirdoes hanging out at night, and I?m surprised I didn?t run into one. I should have been scared, or at least uneasy or cautious, but instead, I was calm, serene. I don?t really know how to explain it, but everything felt like it was all right. As overly dramatic as it sounds, I didn?t want to leave, to have that moment end.
Abruptly, I felt vibrating in my left pocket. Lazily, like someone just having been woken up, I reached into my left pocket, pulled my phone, and answered it. It was my mother, asking in that paranoid fashion of moms when I was going to be home. I responded that I was on my way, but it wasn?t until after constant swearing that I was fine that she ended the conversation. I hung up and let my left arm fall limp to my side while I stared into space. After a few moments, I got up from the bench with another sigh and continued home. I reached the end of the road, where there is a think band of trees that separate the park, a leftover from the woods that used to be where my complex now is. They were cleared long before I was born. I made my way through them, walked across the parking lot, reached my home, a crappy two-story townhouse, and let myself in the front door. My mother was chewing me out for walking home alone at night before I even got my shoes off.
Anyway, I stayed up for some time after that. I was pretty tired, so I went to bed around 12:00, about an hour after I got home. When I turned the lights out in my small, cluttered room, I noticed that some of the moonlight still came through my closed blinds and was lying across an open part of the floor. Even though my bed was only a step away, I lied down on the floor in front of the window, which I?m sometimes apt to do. As I laid there in the moonlight, I thought about my time in the park, and as I thought, I faded into the depths of sleep.
By the way, 200 posts. Whoo.
First off, I?d like to say that there really is no point to this story. It?s just something that happened to me about a week ago. I also recognize that this is no masterpiece and that my prose is lacking, to put it euphemistically. I just wrote this because I felt like it, that?s all.
Anyway, it began with a party some guy I know threw, one of those ?everyone?s invited? deals. I don?t know why, but I decided to go, even though social gatherings aren?t my forte. I encountered a few guys I knew and paled around with them awhile, but most of them soon left or hung around with their other friends, so I was pretty much a wallflower the rest of the time I was there?like I said, social gatherings aren?t my forte. I ended up slipping out around 10:45 or so, effectively missing all of the epic moments that I would hear of constantly at school the following Monday. The guy throwing the party, some preppy senior fox?truth be told, I really don?t know him well at all?lived relatively close to where I do, so I decided to walk home.
Between his house and my apartment there?s a park I used to go to a lot when I was a little kid. It?s right behind my apartment complex, so I decided to cut through it to get home, my usual practice. Understandably, the place was deserted: it was closed and my being there was technically trespassing. I didn?t see a single soul on my trek back home save for a 20-something weasel riding his bike somewhere, but he paid me no attention. I walked along the narrow street that goes through the park stopping short of my apartment complex. The lights in the park were out, but fortunately, the weather was beautiful and the moon and stars shone clear. It really should have been an eerie setting, now that I think of it.
I pulled my thin coat about me tightly and picked up the pace. The fall breeze was nippy and I?m no big fan of night strolls. However, even though I was trying to get home as soon as possible, something made me walk away from the road into the part of the park with the playground. I honestly do not know why I did it?maybe I was tired or something?but I decided to sit down for awhile on one of the wooden benches. Carefully avoiding any bird crap, I sat down with a sigh and stared up into the sky. Like I said before, the weather was excellent. A full moon, pale yellow, hung in the sky surrounded by thousands of stars glittering like diamonds?a rather mundane occurrence and clich? description, I know, but I just sat there admiring it. Crickets chirped somewhere. I could faintly hear the highway in the distance. I had momentarily forgotten about the cold.
I leaned forward and focused my attention on my surroundings. Two old, rusty soccer goals stood on the field to my right. Next to the field there were two tennis courts surrounded by chain link fence. Behind me to the left there was a basketball court. The asphalt was new; the baskets weren?t. In front of me past the playground was a water park that has been there for God knows how long, although you wouldn?t guess that by looking at it. They keep it up to date, so it always seems to look new. It was closed until summer rolled around again, but its loneliness didn?t stand out alongside the rest of the deserted area. Directly in front of me was a playground. Most o fit was relatively new, only two or three years old. When I was a young rat, I played here often. There used to be a huge slide that I couldn?t tire of going down. You could see pretty well from the top. There was also a worn, slightly rickety carousel that I would beg my parents to spin with me on it until it became an oversized centrifuge. There was a lot of other good stuff. It?s all gone now. The slide and carousel disappeared long ago, the sand has been replaced by wood chips, and everything is plastic and safe.
I leaned my head back, faced the heavens again, and closed my eyes. It?s funny, really. It?s places like that were you hear of all the muggers and rapists and weirdoes hanging out at night, and I?m surprised I didn?t run into one. I should have been scared, or at least uneasy or cautious, but instead, I was calm, serene. I don?t really know how to explain it, but everything felt like it was all right. As overly dramatic as it sounds, I didn?t want to leave, to have that moment end.
Abruptly, I felt vibrating in my left pocket. Lazily, like someone just having been woken up, I reached into my left pocket, pulled my phone, and answered it. It was my mother, asking in that paranoid fashion of moms when I was going to be home. I responded that I was on my way, but it wasn?t until after constant swearing that I was fine that she ended the conversation. I hung up and let my left arm fall limp to my side while I stared into space. After a few moments, I got up from the bench with another sigh and continued home. I reached the end of the road, where there is a think band of trees that separate the park, a leftover from the woods that used to be where my complex now is. They were cleared long before I was born. I made my way through them, walked across the parking lot, reached my home, a crappy two-story townhouse, and let myself in the front door. My mother was chewing me out for walking home alone at night before I even got my shoes off.
Anyway, I stayed up for some time after that. I was pretty tired, so I went to bed around 12:00, about an hour after I got home. When I turned the lights out in my small, cluttered room, I noticed that some of the moonlight still came through my closed blinds and was lying across an open part of the floor. Even though my bed was only a step away, I lied down on the floor in front of the window, which I?m sometimes apt to do. As I laid there in the moonlight, I thought about my time in the park, and as I thought, I faded into the depths of sleep.
By the way, 200 posts. Whoo.
| QUOTE (CKY_Tribal @ Sep 18 2007, 07:33 PM) |
| This "story" was weird... I didn't really get it, TBH. Also, "mormon" is not a word I would've used to describe this... Explaination, perhaps? |
There isn't anything to get; I said this had no point.
And yeah, I know it's explanation heavy, but that's because I'm no good at explaining things and I was trying to work on it. Guess I went overboard...
| QUOTE (AgentParanoia @ Sep 19 2007, 12:36 AM) | ||
There isn't anything to get; I said this had no point. And yeah, I know it's explanation heavy, but that's because I'm no good at explaining things and I was trying to work on it. Guess I went overboard... |
What I meant was, can ThePoke explain what he meant... I guess I didn't word it very well.
Actually, the explanations were good, IMO. I just usually prefer things with some sort of story, which is irrelevant, as you already stated that wasn't what you were going for.
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