Forums · Something that popped into my head
Since everyone likes to use italics, so will I.
Chapter 1:
"Arrgh...I can't take it anymore. The constant sounds of Rapidash...the clashing noise of Gallade, what the hell has this world come tooooooooooooo?"
"Tom, we've only got fifty miles until Libelldra. Keep on going!"
"I'm telling you, we've gone to madness! The Combees are blotting out the sun...the Rapidash cover the field...and the constant 300 references!" Of course, everything went black after that. Either I had blacked out or I got knocked out, it went black. Truly, everyone could tell this was the end of the world. Even several Gardevoirs agree, as do the oracles of the emotions.
"Yo. Wake up, we're halfway to Libelldra, GameFAQs is no where in sight." Wait, they just dragged me for 25 miles? Talk about ripped...
"Fine, but what the hell happened?"
"What are you talking about, again?"
"Blacking out, of course."
"Oh, that. You kind of just...collapsed after going insane." Yeah, that's real helpful.
But maybe I should tell you more of the situation at hand, and maybe myself. In a rash decision, GameFAQs attacked Smogon and dressed them up as Libelldrans, leading Smogon to decide the Libelldrans were responsible. Spys from the Libelldran army thankfully caught notice of this and reported the Smogon's plan to attack swiftly.
Except that just made things worse. Smogon was certain now that Libelldra was serious about this war, and sent another wave of troops. Letting no one enter or exit, the spys had no way to report to Libelldra anymore. Ergo, war erupted between Libelldra and Smogon.
But no, it's not over yet. In yet another rash decision, GameFAQs offered a peace treaty with Smogon. Smogon agreed, and together they teamed up against poor Libelldra. And we might as well call GameFAQs RashFAQs, since they prematurely ended the treaty by attacking Smogon. So, as of now, all three communities are in constant warfare, the other communities are neutral, but Marriland is starting to lean torwards GameFAQs' side.
More about myself, I'm Tom Fisher. Originally of GameFAQs, I'm immigrating to Libelldra. It really sucks that all of the trains are out of operation due to the war, so now I have to walk one hundred miles to Libelldra. Isn't that nice? Anyways, my family is staying back at GameFAQs, for some weird reason they refuse to move. The guy that was talking to me earlier? Some guy I met on the road, name is Rufus or something.
Walking along the desolate trail, a wild Pokemon suddenly appears...
Aw crap, not again. Another Mudkip, I've seen these ever since GameFAQs picked up that trend. "So what's your plan, Tom?"
"As much as I liek mudkipz, I'm afraid it'll be our meal for today." With that said, I took out my hand made spear. Why do I have one? No clue. With forces over 1000 whales of power, I throw the spear at the Mudkip, instantly killing it. Tossing it into my backpack, I walk down the endless trail to the Promised Land. Mmm...Mudkip surprise. Never had one, what's the surprise?
It sucks, right?
Chapter 1:
"Arrgh...I can't take it anymore. The constant sounds of Rapidash...the clashing noise of Gallade, what the hell has this world come tooooooooooooo?"
"Tom, we've only got fifty miles until Libelldra. Keep on going!"
"I'm telling you, we've gone to madness! The Combees are blotting out the sun...the Rapidash cover the field...and the constant 300 references!" Of course, everything went black after that. Either I had blacked out or I got knocked out, it went black. Truly, everyone could tell this was the end of the world. Even several Gardevoirs agree, as do the oracles of the emotions.
"Yo. Wake up, we're halfway to Libelldra, GameFAQs is no where in sight." Wait, they just dragged me for 25 miles? Talk about ripped...
"Fine, but what the hell happened?"
"What are you talking about, again?"
"Blacking out, of course."
"Oh, that. You kind of just...collapsed after going insane." Yeah, that's real helpful.
But maybe I should tell you more of the situation at hand, and maybe myself. In a rash decision, GameFAQs attacked Smogon and dressed them up as Libelldrans, leading Smogon to decide the Libelldrans were responsible. Spys from the Libelldran army thankfully caught notice of this and reported the Smogon's plan to attack swiftly.
Except that just made things worse. Smogon was certain now that Libelldra was serious about this war, and sent another wave of troops. Letting no one enter or exit, the spys had no way to report to Libelldra anymore. Ergo, war erupted between Libelldra and Smogon.
But no, it's not over yet. In yet another rash decision, GameFAQs offered a peace treaty with Smogon. Smogon agreed, and together they teamed up against poor Libelldra. And we might as well call GameFAQs RashFAQs, since they prematurely ended the treaty by attacking Smogon. So, as of now, all three communities are in constant warfare, the other communities are neutral, but Marriland is starting to lean torwards GameFAQs' side.
More about myself, I'm Tom Fisher. Originally of GameFAQs, I'm immigrating to Libelldra. It really sucks that all of the trains are out of operation due to the war, so now I have to walk one hundred miles to Libelldra. Isn't that nice? Anyways, my family is staying back at GameFAQs, for some weird reason they refuse to move. The guy that was talking to me earlier? Some guy I met on the road, name is Rufus or something.
Walking along the desolate trail, a wild Pokemon suddenly appears...
Aw crap, not again. Another Mudkip, I've seen these ever since GameFAQs picked up that trend. "So what's your plan, Tom?"
"As much as I liek mudkipz, I'm afraid it'll be our meal for today." With that said, I took out my hand made spear. Why do I have one? No clue. With forces over 1000 whales of power, I throw the spear at the Mudkip, instantly killing it. Tossing it into my backpack, I walk down the endless trail to the Promised Land. Mmm...Mudkip surprise. Never had one, what's the surprise?
It sucks, right?
I found the premise of a war between Smogon, Gamefaqs and TLF quite amusing. I like how you were able to work in a Mudkip reference 
One thing I'm confused about - the narrator and Rufus, are they people or Pokemon?
Likewise, the "inhabitants" of Smogon, Gamefaqs & TLF, are they Pokemon or people?
And how is this war being fought? Guns and bombs, or Pokemon battles?
Ok, so that was more than one thing... Ah well
One thing I'm confused about - the narrator and Rufus, are they people or Pokemon?
Likewise, the "inhabitants" of Smogon, Gamefaqs & TLF, are they Pokemon or people?
And how is this war being fought? Guns and bombs, or Pokemon battles?
Ok, so that was more than one thing... Ah well
| QUOTE (ThePoke @ Sep 17 2007, 08:17 PM) |
| "With that said, I took out my hand and made a spear" Huh? |
Oh crap, it didn't really say that, did it?
Chapter 2:
I'll pass on the Mudkip surprise from now on. The surprise is not pretty. Like Chuck Norris suddenly lashing out at you while you're taking a refreshing shower, roundhouse kicking you in the gonads, jamming a fistful of anger into your face, and throwing you off a cliff. All in the span of a second, too.
Not something you'd like to happen, to say the least. I think I must've puked somewhere along the road, but nevertheless, I'm still going strong. But I'll say, comparing Libelldra to GameFAQs, it's like comparing the suburbs to the ghettos. It's so clean in Libelldra, and the crime rates are relatively low; as for GameFAQs, the crime rates are incredibly high, so high that in fact it makes the Eiffel Tower look like a dwarf.
Now, we're in Libelldra. That's all that matters, GameFAQs can kiss the bottom of my shoe. Libelldra is so lively for a small city, already they have forges crafting up some Scizors and Metagrosses, they have universities for nearly every aspect of Pokemon already, they've started construction on the Tier Tower, already done with the foundation and testing, they have merchants in the forum trying to make deals. Yet, I have no clue where any of these places are, I've only heard of them from the occasional visits we get from the elites from Libelldra.
"Yo, Rufus, did you get the map like I told you to?"
"Map? What map?"
"You know, the map."
"What map?"
"Where the heck is the map?"
"Oh, that map."
"Yes, that map."
"I forgot."
"What?"
"To get it."
"Oh come on, we're in the middle of the city, now we have no clue where we are."
"Don't worry, my sense of direction is excellent. The inn is to our right, I'm sure of it."
"You better have a good sense of direction." Needless to say, we ended up getting even more lost. These swarm of people, they twist and turn, they meander and zig-zag, and to be frank, they're all confusing me. And all of them are running in the opposite direction that we're going. For a city of such a small population (they're nearly at 400 people), they've got a huge patch of land and thus, a huge city. Yet, it feels like the population density of Libelldra is greater than GameFAQs What's up with that?
"Hey, it feels like the density of Libelldra is larger than GameFAQs. You think the same, Rufus?"
"You have no time to ponder such questions Tom, for that Metagross over there has just picked up a Life Orb!"
"A...Metagross? What in the name of Arceus is a Metagross doing untamed?"
"Beats me. Let's catch it, it looks good for our first impression."
"Right. Let's do this!" Without a doubt, I reached for my...oh wait, that's right. "Rufus, they confiscated our Pokemon during the immigration process."
"Shit."
"Indeed. Let's assess the situation now, stay calm, okay? We're lost, there's a Metagross rampage-"
"There's also that Marowak over there who stole the Thick Club from the merchant in purple over there. Got a strange accent, too."
"Okay, there's also a Marowak rampage. Let's recap, we're lost in the middle of nowhere, a Metagross has juts picked up a Life Orb, a Marowak has a Thick Club, I just ate some Mudkip surprise, we don't have any Pokemon, and I need to go to the bathroom. What do we do?"
"One thing: kick ass and chew some bubble gum."
"And we don't have any gum."
Of course, this marked the day Libelldra, Smogon, GameFAQs, Marriland, Serebii, Veekun, Psypokes, and all of those other sites began their eventual trek to hell.
Craptastic chapter, indeed. Also, post 200. Custom Title FTW!
Lawl, Kite having his laptop (semi) work again has given me that extra adrenaline boost to write another chapter.
Chapter 3:
A Metagross, and a Marowak. How am I ever going to defeat those with my bare fists? Me and Rufus, that is. Heck, as buff as Rufus is, we still stand no- oh god they used Earthquake in unison. The ground literally cracked open where their earthquakes met, pretty much opening up a fissure...
...wait, a fissure? "Jesus, they're not using earthquake, they're using Fissure!" I yelled. The barren earth cracked more, until hot lava was visible from above. "Wait, they're not using Fissure, they're using Eruption! Oh wait, maybe they're using all three!"
All three meant business. That meant you had a 30% chance of instantly falling into the fissure, you would be victim to the shaking of the earth, and more importantly, you have to dodge flying chunks of lava. And as an estimate, that's about a 95% chance of death in this disaster. Despite this, both Rufus and I stood our ground and survived; a .25% chance. "Earth being ripped in half; bad. Earthquakes around the globe; bad. Erupting lava from the core; just as bad. It can only get worse."
It did. Out of the blue, a Lapras comes crashing through the city walls. That's right, a Lapras. And you know what it starts doing? "@$%&!" the young Lapras cried. Curse. It starts to Curse up.
And you know what? Some guy in the background yells "Swept by a Lapras!" What nerve to say that, especially when there's three other catastrophes occuring at the same time. But turning back, he doesn't look like an ordinary bystander. He looks noble, with a Lapras in gold imprinted on his shirt.
Hey, I know him. His name is Kiet, he sometimes visits GameFAQs. He was the guy who started the whole SBAL fad. Wait, am I daydreaming in the middle of the apocalypse? "Kiet, help!"
"What the ****? You know my name?" He proceeds to make a strange face, equivalent of >_>.
"Yes, bec-screw it, help already!"
"How?" He makes that same face. I don't like where this is going.
"Oh come on, you created the Swept by a Lapras fad, you can stop it too!"
"Oh. Well, I have no idea how." He attempts to break the mold and shifts the eyes the other way.
"Please, think of something. Anything, just hurry up!"
"Well, I do have this neat Lapras call I've been-"
"Use it, don't waste time!" He immediately understands, and makes the face again, as he shoves both hands into a cup. Adeptly, he puts next to his mouth and starts blowing. Strangely enough, the sound is exactly like the Lapras. "Stop screwing around, I know you're playing Saria's theme, damnit!"
He makes the face, again, and stops screwing around. Well, I had hope he didn't to begin with, since the Lapras is cum-I mean coming. ^^;. Coming at me at frightening speeds, enough to climb a waterfall. "Oh crap."
"We're goners, Tom."
"Don't say that. He's like, one hundred meters away."
"Now it's ten."
"What-"
The water was splashing in my eyes.
Also, if you didn't know, the names are corruptions of their username. And they are real names, too. Tom and Rufus aren't based off of anyone, by the way.
Chapter 3:
A Metagross, and a Marowak. How am I ever going to defeat those with my bare fists? Me and Rufus, that is. Heck, as buff as Rufus is, we still stand no- oh god they used Earthquake in unison. The ground literally cracked open where their earthquakes met, pretty much opening up a fissure...
...wait, a fissure? "Jesus, they're not using earthquake, they're using Fissure!" I yelled. The barren earth cracked more, until hot lava was visible from above. "Wait, they're not using Fissure, they're using Eruption! Oh wait, maybe they're using all three!"
All three meant business. That meant you had a 30% chance of instantly falling into the fissure, you would be victim to the shaking of the earth, and more importantly, you have to dodge flying chunks of lava. And as an estimate, that's about a 95% chance of death in this disaster. Despite this, both Rufus and I stood our ground and survived; a .25% chance. "Earth being ripped in half; bad. Earthquakes around the globe; bad. Erupting lava from the core; just as bad. It can only get worse."
It did. Out of the blue, a Lapras comes crashing through the city walls. That's right, a Lapras. And you know what it starts doing? "@$%&!" the young Lapras cried. Curse. It starts to Curse up.
And you know what? Some guy in the background yells "Swept by a Lapras!" What nerve to say that, especially when there's three other catastrophes occuring at the same time. But turning back, he doesn't look like an ordinary bystander. He looks noble, with a Lapras in gold imprinted on his shirt.
Hey, I know him. His name is Kiet, he sometimes visits GameFAQs. He was the guy who started the whole SBAL fad. Wait, am I daydreaming in the middle of the apocalypse? "Kiet, help!"
"What the ****? You know my name?" He proceeds to make a strange face, equivalent of >_>.
"Yes, bec-screw it, help already!"
"How?" He makes that same face. I don't like where this is going.
"Oh come on, you created the Swept by a Lapras fad, you can stop it too!"
"Oh. Well, I have no idea how." He attempts to break the mold and shifts the eyes the other way.
"Please, think of something. Anything, just hurry up!"
"Well, I do have this neat Lapras call I've been-"
"Use it, don't waste time!" He immediately understands, and makes the face again, as he shoves both hands into a cup. Adeptly, he puts next to his mouth and starts blowing. Strangely enough, the sound is exactly like the Lapras. "Stop screwing around, I know you're playing Saria's theme, damnit!"
He makes the face, again, and stops screwing around. Well, I had hope he didn't to begin with, since the Lapras is cum-I mean coming. ^^;. Coming at me at frightening speeds, enough to climb a waterfall. "Oh crap."
"We're goners, Tom."
"Don't say that. He's like, one hundred meters away."
"Now it's ten."
"What-"
The water was splashing in my eyes.
Also, if you didn't know, the names are corruptions of their username. And they are real names, too. Tom and Rufus aren't based off of anyone, by the way.
Oh my freaking Lord, I was writing a story about TLF VS Smogon too. >_< Mine's going to be considerably different though...
Nice story so far.
EDIT: Oh, and mine isn't Pokemon-related so don't worry about us butting heads anytime soon. >_>
Nice story so far.
EDIT: Oh, and mine isn't Pokemon-related so don't worry about us butting heads anytime soon. >_>
Chapter 4:
Ow. My eyes, they sting.
Here I am, in bed, after being assaulted by a Cursed up Lapras. Diving at me with the speed of a Swellow (African or European, I have no clue) and the power of a thousand Rampardos, it hurt. So bad, that I'm supposed to rest for about a month before I can leave.
What of the Metagross, the Lapras, the Marowak, and the others? Well, the Lapras recoiled off of me and fell into a fissure, the Marowak's Thick Club shattered, and the Metagross eventually killed itself after Meteor Mashing everything in sight. Rather anti-climactic, if you may. And Kiet? Yeah, he forgot how to do his Lapras call correctly, so I kind of got hit.
Skip about a month's worth of time, things have grown. A lot. The city hit 500 people, the skyscrapers are digging into the sky, buildings are being completed, new plans are underway, and the city has nearly tripled its size. Despite all of this growth, the population's density has gone down. I'm assuming the draft. Of course, Rufus finally got the map, so I'm going to go exploring.
The Tier building. Looks like they're on tier 5 now. Passing by that, we have the Town Hall, neatly decorated with Flygon patterns in a German art style. Hey, that's what the brochure said. And over here we have some sort of secret door, says "Administration members only". I suppose it's a secret area for the officials.
Countless buildings, too little time. "Hey, did we ever get our Pokemon back?"
"Nope. Right now, we're still considered illegal immigrants until they approve of us."
"Why the hell does it take so long?"
"Well, the staff have to personally approve of every immigrant, and that means several background checks, any past identities, recent crimes, financial status, and all that other stuff." Did...Rufus just say something intelligent?
"Whatever. Should we go get something to eat?" Rufus didn't even bother replying and opened up the map. "Ehh...let's see. The Food Forge, the Libelldra Bar, and the Master of Idiot's Restraunt. Which one do you want to go to?"
"Any of them."
"That's real helpful. Choose one or the other."
"Uhh...fine. Master of Idiot's Restraunt." Skipping about five minutes worth of walking, we arrived at Master of Idiot's Restraunt.
"WHHYYY! Skylar honey, please, please cheer me up!" He momentarliy winks. Yeah, that's the best way to greet a customer, trust me. This guy is the best manager I've seen. "CUSTOMER, YOUR FOOD WILL CONTAIN MY TEARS OF AGONY!"
"We're leaving. Let's try...the Libelldra Bar." Skip yet another five minutes, and here we are.
"Hello, how may I help you?"
"Yeah, can you tell me why you're dressed up as a Flygon?"
"He's our mascot. See that giant Flygon outside? Completely made out of clay." A...giant clay Flygon? That's just going a little too far, especially when the Flygon is larger than the building itself.
"Right, so what do you have here?"
"Well, at this time of day, we serve Miltank Burgers, Mudkip Surprise, Lapras Soup, and the Kid's meal."
"Eh...I'll take a Kid's meal. For shits and giggles."
"Mudkip Surprise." Rufus, you horribly misguided being. The seats were, to be frank, what the fuck man. They're Trapinch sitting on a Cacnea. And we sit on the Trapinch. Making it me on top of a Trapinch on top of a Cacnea on top of the desert styled floor on top of a foundation on top of the dirt. Shaking that off of my mind, I ask Rufus a question.
"So, where did you come from?"
"...Not telling." Five locks and about ten meters worth of chains fly out of nowhere, surrounding Rufus. Wait, what the hell? Damn, Doctor Anonymous wasn't kidding when he gave me this...charm. It let's me see when people are hiding something. Damn, this place is more screwed up than I thought.
"Oh really?"
"Yes."
"Bastard. Respond correctly next time. But, I know where you come from!"
"WHAAAT? W-wait, give me proof!" Proof? Damn. I don't have any, I'd be the worst attourney if I had to enter the courtroom.
"Nevermind, just...psyching you out."
"Bastard." And that ended our conversation. I might have to gather more evidence before I try...and a sexy waitress comes by.
"Here's your meal. Have a great day."
"Let's see what's in this Kid's meal...a nugget. Of a Blaziken, I suppose. A...pack of Tamato sauce. I hate Tamato. A burger, with Miltank meat and Miltank cheese, along with some bread. Of unknown origin. "HOLY CRAP!"
"Shh, not so loud."
"I GOT A BEANIE BABY OF AN EEVEE! I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER THE PLACE FOR ONE OF THESE! HOOOOOLYYYYYY SHIIIIIIIIIIT!" Oh, crap. I did not just say that. And moreover, some kid in a soccer outfit and his mom (which I suppose is a soccer mom) stared at me.
"..."
"Shit. Pretend that never happened."
Of course, the entire way back to the inn, I had to drag Rufus around. Unknown to me, tomorrow was going to be the day that changed my life forever.
Ow. My eyes, they sting.
Here I am, in bed, after being assaulted by a Cursed up Lapras. Diving at me with the speed of a Swellow (African or European, I have no clue) and the power of a thousand Rampardos, it hurt. So bad, that I'm supposed to rest for about a month before I can leave.
What of the Metagross, the Lapras, the Marowak, and the others? Well, the Lapras recoiled off of me and fell into a fissure, the Marowak's Thick Club shattered, and the Metagross eventually killed itself after Meteor Mashing everything in sight. Rather anti-climactic, if you may. And Kiet? Yeah, he forgot how to do his Lapras call correctly, so I kind of got hit.
Skip about a month's worth of time, things have grown. A lot. The city hit 500 people, the skyscrapers are digging into the sky, buildings are being completed, new plans are underway, and the city has nearly tripled its size. Despite all of this growth, the population's density has gone down. I'm assuming the draft. Of course, Rufus finally got the map, so I'm going to go exploring.
The Tier building. Looks like they're on tier 5 now. Passing by that, we have the Town Hall, neatly decorated with Flygon patterns in a German art style. Hey, that's what the brochure said. And over here we have some sort of secret door, says "Administration members only". I suppose it's a secret area for the officials.
Countless buildings, too little time. "Hey, did we ever get our Pokemon back?"
"Nope. Right now, we're still considered illegal immigrants until they approve of us."
"Why the hell does it take so long?"
"Well, the staff have to personally approve of every immigrant, and that means several background checks, any past identities, recent crimes, financial status, and all that other stuff." Did...Rufus just say something intelligent?
"Whatever. Should we go get something to eat?" Rufus didn't even bother replying and opened up the map. "Ehh...let's see. The Food Forge, the Libelldra Bar, and the Master of Idiot's Restraunt. Which one do you want to go to?"
"Any of them."
"That's real helpful. Choose one or the other."
"Uhh...fine. Master of Idiot's Restraunt." Skipping about five minutes worth of walking, we arrived at Master of Idiot's Restraunt.
"WHHYYY! Skylar honey, please, please cheer me up!" He momentarliy winks. Yeah, that's the best way to greet a customer, trust me. This guy is the best manager I've seen. "CUSTOMER, YOUR FOOD WILL CONTAIN MY TEARS OF AGONY!"
"We're leaving. Let's try...the Libelldra Bar." Skip yet another five minutes, and here we are.
"Hello, how may I help you?"
"Yeah, can you tell me why you're dressed up as a Flygon?"
"He's our mascot. See that giant Flygon outside? Completely made out of clay." A...giant clay Flygon? That's just going a little too far, especially when the Flygon is larger than the building itself.
"Right, so what do you have here?"
"Well, at this time of day, we serve Miltank Burgers, Mudkip Surprise, Lapras Soup, and the Kid's meal."
"Eh...I'll take a Kid's meal. For shits and giggles."
"Mudkip Surprise." Rufus, you horribly misguided being. The seats were, to be frank, what the fuck man. They're Trapinch sitting on a Cacnea. And we sit on the Trapinch. Making it me on top of a Trapinch on top of a Cacnea on top of the desert styled floor on top of a foundation on top of the dirt. Shaking that off of my mind, I ask Rufus a question.
"So, where did you come from?"
"...Not telling." Five locks and about ten meters worth of chains fly out of nowhere, surrounding Rufus. Wait, what the hell? Damn, Doctor Anonymous wasn't kidding when he gave me this...charm. It let's me see when people are hiding something. Damn, this place is more screwed up than I thought.
"Oh really?"
"Yes."
"Bastard. Respond correctly next time. But, I know where you come from!"
"WHAAAT? W-wait, give me proof!" Proof? Damn. I don't have any, I'd be the worst attourney if I had to enter the courtroom.
"Nevermind, just...psyching you out."
"Bastard." And that ended our conversation. I might have to gather more evidence before I try...and a sexy waitress comes by.
"Here's your meal. Have a great day."
"Let's see what's in this Kid's meal...a nugget. Of a Blaziken, I suppose. A...pack of Tamato sauce. I hate Tamato. A burger, with Miltank meat and Miltank cheese, along with some bread. Of unknown origin. "HOLY CRAP!"
"Shh, not so loud."
"I GOT A BEANIE BABY OF AN EEVEE! I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER THE PLACE FOR ONE OF THESE! HOOOOOLYYYYYY SHIIIIIIIIIIT!" Oh, crap. I did not just say that. And moreover, some kid in a soccer outfit and his mom (which I suppose is a soccer mom) stared at me.
"..."
"Shit. Pretend that never happened."
Of course, the entire way back to the inn, I had to drag Rufus around. Unknown to me, tomorrow was going to be the day that changed my life forever.
Copyright © 2007-2025 Cherubi