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Forcing God's Hand
Foreword
"Forcing God's Hand" is a purely fictional work starring a devoted Christian girl (not coincidentally named "Christ-bearer") whose life is too perfect to be anything but divine. This is the story of the girl's life being systematically torn apart (by God? or some other unseen force?), forcing her to face reality for the first time and discover for herself whether or not there is room for faith in her life. Of course, her journey will affect the lives and beliefs of all those who she touches along the way.
The dynamic I hope to create between Christina and the narrator is similar to that between V/Evey in "V for Vendetta", in that the girl is the character who will mature and undergo a major transformation, and she will never learn the true identity of the mysterious figure who guides her through the turmoil, who is at the same time her only friend and her most dangerous enemy. The girl is based on someone that I do know in real life, and yes she really is that annoyingly perfect. And the cynical, skeptical, jealous asshole of a narrator who is responsible for so much of the conflict in the story? Based on myself, naturally. The narrator is both omniscient and a character in the story, which should make for a rather interesting perspective. The role of God in the story will be ambiguous at best, not unlike real life.
Prologue
Christina.
Christina, whose smile was voted the sweetest in her graduating class. Christina, whose bright eyes radiated from the cover of Christian Living magazine. Christina, whose hands had composed dozens of songs of praise and worship, and whose bold soprano voice had sold hundreds of albums. Christina, the modest daughter of a surgeon and pharmacist, who gave freely to charity because she had always been blessed with more than any girl could ever need.
The Lord was good to Christina. And why shouldn't He be? She respected and obeyed her parents. She was pure, never once touched by the countless boys whose hearts she captured. She had never known greed or lust or envy. How could she? God had not allowed sin to enter her blessed life. She had given herself to God, and here she was now, one mere month away from finishing her second year at Stanford and one song away from finishing her second album, to be entitled "With Grace".
"Lord, I am broken," she sang to her captive audience, her hands floating gracefully over the piano keys. This was her third concert this semester, and just like the first two, the ticket proceeds would go entirely to charity. "Wretched in sorrow, stripped of your light by my shame, yet I'm still yearning for your forgiveness..."
...for what? I wondered. For what sin could the flawless Christina have to be forgiven?
Foreword
"Forcing God's Hand" is a purely fictional work starring a devoted Christian girl (not coincidentally named "Christ-bearer") whose life is too perfect to be anything but divine. This is the story of the girl's life being systematically torn apart (by God? or some other unseen force?), forcing her to face reality for the first time and discover for herself whether or not there is room for faith in her life. Of course, her journey will affect the lives and beliefs of all those who she touches along the way.
The dynamic I hope to create between Christina and the narrator is similar to that between V/Evey in "V for Vendetta", in that the girl is the character who will mature and undergo a major transformation, and she will never learn the true identity of the mysterious figure who guides her through the turmoil, who is at the same time her only friend and her most dangerous enemy. The girl is based on someone that I do know in real life, and yes she really is that annoyingly perfect. And the cynical, skeptical, jealous asshole of a narrator who is responsible for so much of the conflict in the story? Based on myself, naturally. The narrator is both omniscient and a character in the story, which should make for a rather interesting perspective. The role of God in the story will be ambiguous at best, not unlike real life.
Prologue
Christina.
Christina, whose smile was voted the sweetest in her graduating class. Christina, whose bright eyes radiated from the cover of Christian Living magazine. Christina, whose hands had composed dozens of songs of praise and worship, and whose bold soprano voice had sold hundreds of albums. Christina, the modest daughter of a surgeon and pharmacist, who gave freely to charity because she had always been blessed with more than any girl could ever need.
The Lord was good to Christina. And why shouldn't He be? She respected and obeyed her parents. She was pure, never once touched by the countless boys whose hearts she captured. She had never known greed or lust or envy. How could she? God had not allowed sin to enter her blessed life. She had given herself to God, and here she was now, one mere month away from finishing her second year at Stanford and one song away from finishing her second album, to be entitled "With Grace".
"Lord, I am broken," she sang to her captive audience, her hands floating gracefully over the piano keys. This was her third concert this semester, and just like the first two, the ticket proceeds would go entirely to charity. "Wretched in sorrow, stripped of your light by my shame, yet I'm still yearning for your forgiveness..."
...for what? I wondered. For what sin could the flawless Christina have to be forgiven?
The Foreword reminds me of The Scarlet Letter, for some reason. >_> I'm assuming this is supposed to be sort of like the Biblical story of Job?
Also, I know the protagonist is supposed to be absolutely pure and all, but she just seems too Mary-Sueish. Could you tone it down just a tad?
Other than my nitpicking, I think it's pretty good so far.
Also, I know the protagonist is supposed to be absolutely pure and all, but she just seems too Mary-Sueish. Could you tone it down just a tad?
Other than my nitpicking, I think it's pretty good so far.
| QUOTE (tpx_vengeance @ Sep 13 2007, 07:10 PM) |
| ...incest? Where does that come from? In any case, I plan to put up the first chapter tonight, as long as IRC doesn't distract me too much. |
That's just what it sounds like to me, don't take it personally.
I do get the Mary Sue feeling with her too, but here's my issue... The story is being told from the perspective of a biased narrator who is also a character in the story. He really DOES see her that way. I'm haven't thought of any real effective ways to convey flaws in her character yet. I'm hoping that just fleshing out some personal quirks and habits and such will help for the time being.
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